Is my friend right?

Joined
Feb 24, 2015
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#1
Hello friends

I am not a new person to penmai. I am following this forum for more than 4 months. I am very much impressed with penmai. Really it is a great platform for ladies to share about everything. I am reading many family problems and solutions here. I should appreciate everybody who is willingly share their experiences, giving advices to the problems to a unknown person. Thanks for penmai and its members.

Today its just a spark why don’t I register here. Actually I want to discuss here about my friend. So thought of opening a discussion for my confusion.

She is my closest friend and we are friends from our school days. Both of us are having very different in thought and actions. But we have an infinite relationship between us still. She is married. It was a love marriage and it is an inter-religion marriage. She is Christian where her husband was hindu before marriage. But during marriage she asked to convert and they got married.

Personally I don’t like this attitude. They loved each other. They have better mutual understanding between them. Then what there is a need for converting him. I was very much disappointed and discussed with her too. She gave explanations which I couldn’t accept. Then I left the matter.

Last week certainly happened to visit her home. I am very much shocked. I don’t think that my friend can behave like that with her mil. My friend is very dominating. She is indirectly forced her mil to convert or stick to her customs. In their family they are following Christian customs only. Her husband only converted. But she expects that her mil, fil should also follow the same.

She suppressed her mil. She don’t feeling guilty about it. She says that she is right. My friend and her hubby, both are working in mnc. And her son is 3yr old. her mil doing almost all works in home. Cooking, taking care of everybody, washing, so on… she not even tried to help her. She simply replies her mil will do everything.

I can’t justify my friend’s attitude. I am very much upset with her. I am confused. So I am here, to get your opinions on this matter.
 

gkarti

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#2
Hii Archana!

Welcome to Penmai! And Thanks Much for your Nice Words about Penmai.. Very Kind of you to Say So.. :)

Yup, Coming into the Topic - Im not an Expert but I do try to Give My Opinion. Yeah Your friend Might have some Tantrums of her Own.. But It's Very very hard to force People to Change their Nature if they don't Discern themselves as doing something Wrong.

If You feel, She is basically a good person/ Her friendship is Valuable to you,, then You can deal by asking her Problems and giving Advices. Once you feel the Issue is creating too much Negativity.. Better, Not much of interference in her life.

Let her hubby do all the talking & Let him make her Understand Everything.


Chill Chill :) :)
 
Joined
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#3
Hi Karthiga

Many thanks for your reply.

Yes, She is my bestie. But I am very upset with her present activities. We have different thoughts in everything, but our relationship continues still. I think my friend is wrong now. I don't want to interfere in her family matters. But as a friend, should i advice her about it or not? She should change her mind or else she only will be suffered. What I do? How can i tell all such things?
 

gkarti

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#4
Hi Archana!

Good Evening! How are you?? Not to Need Mentioning Yaar.. You're Most Welcome :)

Yeah! As a Friend, You'd.. Ok! Ask your friend to lend me you an ear and listen. I know it won't be easy. If you do have something to say, Know first how you say.. Find Clearly What she needs to be changed.. Then Let her Know Gently bout her behavior at present. You'd point Out her Exactly which of her traits Need to be changed. Its just the Ego in the minds which She has to realize and forego. And It would be worthy if you share your feelings with her. Hmm Just Make to Realize her Mistake!

TC :)
 
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