Is your partner distancing from you


Lord of Penmai
Jul 5, 2011
Is your partner distancing from you

The latest celeb divorce to hit the headlines is the seemingly blissful alliance of actor/singers Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony. Their seven-year marriage came to an abrupt end recently. Rumour mills suggest that Anthony had no idea he was going to be dumped.

Subtle signs that your partner has lost interest in you are difficult to spot. But there are some things you can watch out for to avoid getting your heart crushed.

Problems don't crop up overnight but build over time. In this failed fairytale from Hollywood, for instance, reports claim that while Lopez wanted to live in their Malibu mansion, Anthony, wanted the family to move to New York.

Psychologists Seema Hingorrany and Deepti Makhija list a few telling signs that a wrecking ball is headed your way.

Always on call
There was a time when your phone would ring off the hook. Of late, not only has it been eerily silent, it has also become increasingly difficult to catch hold of your partner. They're busy, unavailable and you mostly find yourself leaving messages on answering machines. If you end up talking to their friends, parents, siblings or co-workers, when you try and reach them, there is a bright chance that you are being avoided. Avoiding confrontation is the first sign of trouble.

Friends at bay
When someone wants to move out of a relationship, they often let their friends in on the secret ahead of time. If your partner's friends seem less friendly, it is a good indicator that they know something you don't and it probably isn't good.

Time out
If you find yourself becoming less of a time priority, even if the reasons for the distance seem logical, it is never a good thing. The only time when someone consciously undervalues their partner is when they take them for granted or are looking for a way out. In both cases, you should start sensing trouble.

Distraction central
If they're finding other things to do instead of spending time with you, such as increase their visits to the gym or spend more time with co-workers or have an increasing number of movie nights with pals, chances are that they're scouting for not only time away from you, but also, a worthy distraction. They might be looking for greener pastures, you see.

Sex-ed out
You haven't had sex for months. Even if you initiated it, your partner has wriggled out with an excuse. Sexual hiatus for more than a few weeks in a relationship is a sign of trouble. Unless your partner is suffering from a physical condition it's highly unlikely that they've given up on sex. It's probably you they aren't interested in. Alternatively, if they're on the fence and are looking for an excuse, they might also surprise you with a new list of desirable bedroom gymnastics that they'd like to experiment with. If you're too chicken to get on board, they probably found themselves a good reason to look elsewhere.

Snap short
Your partner gets irritated at your every little habit. What used to be cute at one time, is now a source of annoyance. It's not just your mannerisms they have a problem with, it's also your public display of affection that they have suddenly started to dislike. Kissing them in front of friends is not 'mature adult behaviour.' Sigh.

Where is the love?
Lopez stopped wearing her wedding ring a week before she announced that she is getting a divorce. Likewise, if your partner isn't wearing that costly band of gold or it could be any object that is important to your relationship, it could be another sign that your guy/girl may be over you.

The new look
You've always liked the bohemian streak in your partner. Suddenly, they're all about looking sharp. If you find them obsessing over their appearance, feel free to speculate. No one goes through so much trouble unless they've someone to impress.

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