Losting my hubby

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Apr 6, 2014
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#1
Dear friends
I am out of this forum for the past 40 days because of sudden death of my husband Dr. ramesh aged 44 due to cardiac arrest who is a paediatician leaving behind my 13 years old son and me. The pain i am undergoing is unbearable because we were such a happy family.
As usual my IL started showing their true face now harrasing me asking properties instead of supporting me.
friends pls suggest me how to support my son as a single mother and tackle my ILs
 

sathya88

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#2
hi uma, very sorry for your loss.

oru ponnukku ithu rombave kastamana neram. aana unga payanukkaka unga pain ellam maraichitu vazhnthu than aaganum. single parent ah kulanthaiya valarkkarathu satharana visayam illa. neenga niraya problems face panna vendi varalam.

athanala neenga muthala strong ah irunga. ethukkakavum payapada vendam. eppadiya irunthalum ithellam face panni than aaganum. so ungalai neengale thayarpaduthikonga.

neenga ethavathu velaikku poitu iruntheengala. appadinna, unga velaiya neenga continue pannunga. appadi pogala na, new job ku try pannunga. velaikku pona ungaluku konjam mind divert aagum. self confidence athikamagum. nalla exposure kidaikkum.

appuram unga mil properties pathi ethavathu pesunanganna, ippa neenga athai pathi yoshikkara nilamaila illanu sollunga. athe pola, unga payanukum paarkka vendiyathu irukkunu sollunga. neenga calm type person, porumaiya than poganum ethirthu pesanaume appadinnu ellam yoshikka vendam.

ippa neenga pesama irukkiratho porumaiya irukkaratho velaikku aagathu. avangakitta bold ah properties pathi pesunga. ippothaikku properties pathi ellam ethuvum mudivu panna mudiyathunnu sollunga. payan konjam periyavan aanathum than decide pannanum nu sollidunga.

unga in-laws kitta yarukittayum neenga thalarnthu poi irukkarathu pola kaatta vendam. romba advantage eduthupanga. avangalai vida ungaluku than ilappu jasthi. valiyum athikam. aana athai yellam purinchukkama, supportive ah illama, udane properties pathi pesaranga na, relations eppadi irukkangannu parunga. manusanuku vida money ku than importance kodukkaranga.

ivanga loda support kadaisi varaikkum irukkanumnu neenga expect pannatheenga.
 

sathya88

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#3
dear uma, intha prachanailaiye ulattitu rukkama, aduthu enna valinnu parunga. nama life ooda intha face-aiyum kadanthu than poi aaganum. kadavul nammalala thanga mudiyatha parathai namma thalaila vaikka mattar.

ungalala kandippa ithai kadanthu vara mudiyum. ungaluku thevai, self confidence, thairiyam and oru job.

ithai manusangalai purinchukka oru santharppa ninaichukonga.
 
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#4
Thanks sathya .
i am trying to come out of this pain.
 

jv_66

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#5
Feel very very sad Uma , hearing the loss of your dearest husband.

No words to console you.

Anyway, you should recover from this greatest loss for the sake of your son.

Now your son has entered into his adolescent age and he needs lots and lots of care from you. You have to show him both the security(financial) and also affection(motherly).

Then and there , please be telling him that you will take very good care of him and that he could become the best person in his studies and profession(in later life).

You should neither over protect him nor nag him for each and every thing.

you should just guide him and make him decide his deeds and decisions.This will give him self confidence.

Are you working?

If yes, then you will not have any financial problem.

If you are not working, then try to find out a suitable job, which you could , according to your qualification. Or else, you can develop any other skill and try for the job.

If you could, you can also try for any small business right now and then develop it.

Regarding your property, please be very careful with everyone.

Never ask for any unknown person's help regarding the property.

Find a suitable lawyer and act accordingly.

No one else in your husband's family except his parents (if they were dependent....and specifically your MIL if she is alone) are entitled for his properties.

If only your husband has written any WILL that any of his property would go to any of the relative (except you and your son), that specific property would go to that person.

Otherwise, only you are the legal heir(in few cases, his parents) for all his properties. Your son is also minor and I think, your husband would not have written any WILL on his name.

So, never let anyone else to grab any of your property.

let anybody tell anything....may be any of his brothers or sisters may tell that they had brought him up from his childhood......but never listen to these words.

You should be little careful in maintaining the relationship with all these relatives.

Never give any blank cheque to anyone without filling the amount.

Try to give the bulk money only through Cheque or any other bank transaction.

keep all the details very safe.

You can keep all the legal property deeds in your bank locker and keep the xerox copies at home.

If your parents or siblings are nearby to you, and if they are of good type, then you can take any of their help for legal procedures.

Please do not totally depend on anyone even if it is your sibling . Parents are alright. but please be careful.

This property may do anything with any person even if they were very loyal till now.

You can contact a suitable lawyer to transfer all the properties in your name.

You can also cross check the details told by your lawyer with any other reputed lawyer , to be on the safe side.

You may ask any other suggestions too, then and there and many of our friends may suggest you suitably.




Regarding the upbringing of your teenage son, please click the below link, which has lots of tips, and it may help you.

http://www.penmai.com/forums/teenagers/46308-how-manage-handle-teenagers.html
 
Last edited:

gulf.rajesh

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Jul 16, 2011
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GULF
#6
Dear friends
I am out of this forum for the past 40 days because of sudden death of my husband Dr. ramesh aged 44 due to cardiac arrest who is a paediatician leaving behind my 13 years old son and me. The pain i am undergoing is unbearable because we were such a happy family.
As usual my IL started showing their true face now harrasing me asking properties instead of supporting me.
friends pls suggest me how to support my son as a single mother and tackle my ILs
அவங்க properties கேட்க காரணம் நீங்கள் அவங்கள வயதான காலத்தில் கவனிக்கமாட்டிங்க கொஞ்சம் சொத்திருந்தா அது உதவியாய் இருக்கும்னு அவர்கள் நினைத்திருக்கலாம்... எதற்கும் உங்கள் விட்டு பெரியவர்கள் வைத்து அவர்களுடன் பேசி அவர்களின் வீணான கலையை போக்கி ஒற்றுமையை வாழுங்கள்...எடுத்தும் கோர்ட் கேஸ்-ன்னு போவதெல்லாம் ..இருவருக்குமமே வீண் அலைச்சலும் மன உளைச்சலையும் ஏற்படுத்தும்...
God bless..
 
Joined
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#7
Thanks jayanthi mam
I am working in govt sector. now for the past 10 days running his clinic with 2 doctors on sharing basis. i am a only child to my parents and more introvert . over nite things changed upside down . facing lot of problems. need all of ur suggestions
 

jv_66

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#8
Thanks jayanthi mam
I am working in govt sector. now for the past 10 days running his clinic with 2 doctors on sharing basis. i am a only child to my parents and more introvert . over nite things changed upside down . facing lot of problems. need all of ur suggestions
O...that's sounds good.

So, then you will not find it much difficult.

What you are doing now regarding the clinic sounds too good. I think you can continue in the same way.

If you are the only daughter, then you can very well bring your parents and make them stay with you for the rest of your life.

They will give you moral support for you and your son.

Your son will also get diverted from his loss atleast to some extent when he is along with his grand parents.
 

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