love before marriage spoiling my life

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Nov 25, 2014
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#1
i had loved my friend in my college days but it was failed since we both are different caste. atlast married before 3 months. now my husband has doubt whether i loved anyone previously. i said no. but he is asking again and again what to do? i am so much afraid. i forgot him fully and started this married life. i don't know to whom i can share and get ideas so i am asking here. please guide me to lead a succeful life with my husband.
 
Joined
Dec 26, 2013
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#2
Hi latha..
Welcome to penmai !!
Its very difficult situation to handle..I can feel the pain of which you are experiencing now..
First understand your husband how he might react if he come to know about your previous love; If he is very jovial person you can share about your love (Since you are saying that he is asking again and again nu)..OR talk with your mom about this..Ask her what you should do in this situation.Because from my point of view,,telling openly might solve the problem..Think well and react before talking to your husband..Only you can understand about your husband..Have a faith in god..Your husband will be happy with you soon...
 

jv_66

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#3
Welcome to Penmai....Latha.

Please don't worry.

When your husband is asking the same question repeatedly, you can ask him as why he is repeatedly asking this and whether he is suspecting you, because of any reason.

If he tells that he has some proof(ie., you should not use the word 'proof', but ask him whether somebody has told him anything like that), ask for them.

If he is giving any suitable proof, like, that boy himself has revealed or any of your friends have revealed the matter to him, then you may follow as below.

Now, you can tell him that, due to that age, similar to many girls, you also had infatuation or attraction with a boy. Later you felt that it was just attraction and nothing else, you came out of it and never bothered or thought of him.

Tell him that,Since you didn't give importance to that infatuation, you didn't tell this to him till now, as this would create ripples unnecessarily.

Assure him that you love only him(your husband) and will always be true to him all along your married life. Ask him to forgive you for not telling this earlier. Ask him to forget this past of yours which may not be given any importance.

At the same time, if he has no proof and tells that he asked you simply, you can tell that, you had seen some boys(in college days only) just by getting attracted towards their looks or character.

Also tell him that now both of you love each other (you and your husband) and you would like to continue this forever.

Tell him that, asking like this repeatedly makes you upset .

Tell him that, you want to live a wonderful , happy and understanding life only with your husband and suspecting like these will hurt both of your thoughts.

Tell him, Leave the past and live the present.
 
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#4
thanks for both of your replies. still now i didnt said anything to him. but i thought to tell him the true. i dont want to hide anything hereafter . let god decides our life. pray for my life.
 

jv_66

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#5
thanks for both of your replies. still now i didnt said anything to him. but i thought to tell him the true. i dont want to hide anything hereafter . let god decides our life. pray for my life.
Fine Latha.

Go ahead with your decision.

You will be surely blessed with a wonderful married life with your husband for many many more years.

I pray for the same.

All the best.
 

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