love marriage life is so boring and unhappy

May 15, 2015
mine is love marriage. married before 9 months. i am so much sad with my marriage. life is so boring and unhappy. husband not fulfilling my expectations.


Super Moderator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Dec 2, 2011
Welcome to Penmai.. @abiramikrishnan

Please do not worry.

Yes....the initial love and romance mood will slowly subside after 6 months or 1 or 2 years of marriage and this is normal.

But the affection between the couples will surely increase day by day.

Generally men do not know to show their affection which they have, as the women do,that too mainly towards their wife.But it doesn't meant that they don't have the affection.

Now, you can fix some rules. Inform about these rules to him and plead him to accept and co-operate with these very simple rules.

In the morning, either one of you should wake up the other. While waking , you can greet with the pleasant smile and talks.

This will start the day with good mood.

If you wake up early, finish the initial household works earlier and the morning coffee should be taken when you both sit together in the living room. You can have some important talks during this time.

Just don't bore him.

Then leave him to read the newspaper or do some of his works.

You can select his dresses for office while he is taking bath.

Once he comes back from the office, while having the coffee, tell him to share some of his experiences or you can share that day's experiences.

During these talks, strictly, the TV should be put off and you can ask him to read the newspaper a little later.

Tell him that, just 10 min. talks both in the morning and evening, will be enough to refresh you both.

Next rule is, during the weekend, atleast on any one of the day, you have to go for outing. This may be some where to the nearby temple, park, movie or anywhere else.

Once in 3 or 6 months, whichever is possible, you may go to any far off places , just atleast for 2 or 3 days vacation.

Tell him that even the stress and anxiety in life, even the work pressure may be the reason for infertility.

And tell him that you are suggesting all these things just to get him relieved from his work tension and to relieve your loneliness (in your thoughts too).

These tips can be followed throught your married life, with no age bar.

We pray for you both to have a children very soon. Hope you are undergoing any treatments.

Please click the below link, which have lot more tips for you to know.

Tips to have a good relation / understanding with your husband

Even after reading these suggestions and if still you have your own expectations other than the tips given in the link , you may please tell them (if you prefer to tell) and we may suggest accordingly.



Minister's of Penmai
Registered User
Sep 2, 2014
Hi @abiramikrishnan
This is what most of the love marriage couples feel. Love before marriage is like fantasy world. After-Marriage is the reality. Even if one them is still in fantasy world, life becomes miserable.

Imagine.... You like ice cream and your dad gets you one cup every weekend. You will be so excited and you will be eagerly waiting for that moment. After few weeks, lets say your dad buys an ice-cream shop for you, so that you could eat them daily. You will initially be excited, but after sometime, you will be bored, even though you like ice-cream.

It is the same here. When you were lovers, your lover(now husband) would have tried hard to impress you and meet your expectations. As that was the only way to make your relationship successful. But now he has a responsibility. To make this relationship work, he has to think ahead for the future, and plan for his familys financial need. His priorities might have changed accordingly. He wont be continuing to express his love, as he did before. There is no need to, as you are part of him.

Just lower your expectations, this is the only way to get out of boredom. Now discuss with him about the family future. Make short term goals, and as a team work towards achieving those. Never ever compare your love life with marriage life.

Just remember that love is still there, but it need not be proved everyday.
also you guys have a joint commitment to prove this world, that you both made the right choice of choosing your life partner.

Slight Change in mindset would solve everything.

Best wishes!!!!!


Citizen's of Penmai
Jun 25, 2014
hi jayanthy and rathidevi explained you very well. have a peaceful life, express your thoughts to you husband but dont over expect from him.

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