lover compelling me to change religion

Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
3
Likes
9
Location
india
#1
i am in love with a guy. we are loving for more than 4 years. both our parents accepted us, only problem is he and his family compelling me to change to christian how to come over this and marry him i dont want to change my religion, how to make him accept this.
 

RathideviDeva

Minister's of Penmai
Registered User
Blogger
Joined
Sep 2, 2014
Messages
4,125
Likes
14,730
Location
California
#2
@lovezblind ,as your name itself says, Love is blind.

You have every rights to follow your beliefs. You can talk to your lover. I think he must be in a huge pressure from his parents. Maybe this is the only conditions put by his parents. He must have feared a stronger opposition, thats why this only condition seemed smaller to him.

Just remember that, just because you do something externally will not change your originality. Try to convince him that it is harder for you to change your beliefs. If he still sticks to his parents conditions, negotiate. Tell him clearly that just because you do a ceremony/ritual to convert to christianity you cannot completly giveup your religion. Even after conversion neither he nor his family should enforce you to follow their religion in the day to day life(maybe you could do little to satisfy his relatives ). If he truly loves you, he will respect your beliefs and he will also compromise.

If you think that this is a huge change it will be huge. The problem size seems to be based on your fear and how you view it.

One of our ex neighbor, did convert(because of the parents pressure), the marriage was done in christian ceremony. But after moving to US she still continued hindu rituals and her husband never enforced her to Sunday. masses. Only this kind of mutual respect, lets the marriage life succeed.

All the best for your happy married life!!!
 
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
3
Likes
9
Location
india
#3
yes rathidevi love is blind. i hate love now.

when i was loving him i dont know his religion, i never thought that he will ask me to convert me.

i explained him to the most i can. he is saying i don't have any belief but for their acceptance you should.

but i don't want to do baptism and marriage in church. let it be in home or in the register office. i explained him, but his parents never accepting.
 

shansun70

Minister's of Penmai
Joined
Mar 27, 2014
Messages
2,651
Likes
5,143
Location
Hosur
#4
@lovezblind ,as your name itself says, Love is blind.

You have every rights to follow your beliefs. You can talk to your lover. I think he must be in a huge pressure from his parents. Maybe this is the only conditions put by his parents. He must have feared a stronger opposition, thats why this only condition seemed smaller to him.

Just remember that, just because you do something externally will not change your originality. Try to convince him that it is harder for you to change your beliefs. If he still sticks to his parents conditions, negotiate. Tell him clearly that just because you do a ceremony/ritual to convert to christianity you cannot completly giveup your religion. Even after conversion neither he nor his family should enforce you to follow their religion in the day to day life(maybe you could do little to satisfy his relatives ). If he truly loves you, he will respect your beliefs and he will also compromise.

If you think that this is a huge change it will be huge. The problem size seems to be based on your fear and how you view it.

One of our ex neighbor, did convert(because of the parents pressure), the marriage was done in christian ceremony. But after moving to US she still continued hindu rituals and her husband never enforced her to Sunday. masses. Only this kind of mutual respect, lets the marriage life succeed.

All the best for your happy married life!!!
As your name itself says, Love is blind,
what about Your family members opinion?
please tell him to change into your religion?
then wait and see what is happening.
OR
Don't change religion, make a change! your lover as husband .
Congratz...........


 

sathya88

Citizen's of Penmai
Joined
Jun 25, 2014
Messages
524
Likes
610
Location
Ramnad
#6
hi don't take any decision emotionally. what your parents say? though their opinion is different, you should prepare your mind well in this.

you have now two choice if you are going to get success in love,
1. changing their parents mind and be mutual to both religion, i.e marrying in both church and hindu temple. this will be good since both of your feelings and religious view will get respected.

2. chaning your mind to marry him atleast till the marriage, after that like rathidevi said you can go to your temple as your wish or if you like the relgion you can worship both. (note that this may create some ego in future life too)

it will be good if you follow the 1st way, talk to you lover about your views and ask him to respect your feelings. this is life not going to end only with marriage.
 
Joined
Jun 30, 2015
Messages
3
Likes
9
Location
india
#7
he is willing to marry me in register office, but we are trying our best to marry with parents blessings. he said today that he will try to convince his parents.

sathya thanks for your idea. i will ask him in this way whether they will accept to do marriage in temple too in hindu way and also in christian way.
 

RathideviDeva

Minister's of Penmai
Registered User
Blogger
Joined
Sep 2, 2014
Messages
4,125
Likes
14,730
Location
California
#8
yes rathidevi love is blind. i hate love now.

when i was loving him i dont know his religion, i never thought that he will ask me to convert me.

i explained him to the most i can. he is saying i don't have any belief but for their acceptance you should.

but i don't want to do baptism and marriage in church. let it be in home or in the register office. i explained him, but his parents never accepting.
First believe in your love. These small stuffs like religion, can never seperate you guys if your love is true. The first secret in any successful relationship is mutual respect. If you guys really love each other, both will respect each others feelings and will come to a win-win compromise. If Sathya's suggestion happens well and good.

Unfortunatly the society is still in a state that thinks groom's parents have a upper hand in any decision.

First of all pls dont make the situation drag too much. Discuss with him about various options , its pros and cons in detail before he talks with his parents. You two need to agree upon before anyone interferes. If the situation drags a lot then ego will make situations worse.

Are you going to live with his parents after marriage. What plans do you have about your kids in future. Which religion are you going to bring them up. Even if the matter is resolved now, in future for each and every major family events,his parents religious belief might interfere. How are you guys going to face it.

You guys need to be prepared well , even for a negative reply from his parents. If his parents are friendly and if you are in good terms try to discuss with them itself.
 

Similar threads

Important Announcements!

Type in Tamil

Click here to go to Google transliteration page. Type there in Tamil and copy and paste it.