mil and sil problems

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Jul 9, 2012
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#1
hi friends please guide me. i am married before 4 years. my mil and sil is also living with us. my husband's sister is married before 2 years, due to some problems in her home she fought with her mil and husband she came to our house 6 months before. my sil is not adjusting type, she want to live as nuclear family, but her hubby is not like that and also he convinced her too. he called my hubby and told everything about their problems.

my mil also supports her only. we, me and my hubby are trying to convince her to go to her house. but my mil is encouraging her attitude. if her hubby accepts to live separately, then only she will send her daughter to their home.

my hubby is tired by advising both. but there is no solution. i also tried to advice my sil. i told everything about our family. I said to her "here also i am living in joint family with you all, i am happy with you know then you too try to adjust with your family and live happily"... she takes this talk in wrong way and she told to my mil that i also want to go separately. so that now in our family always prob. my mil also without asking anything to me she started fighting with us. we explained our point clearly to her, we dont have any idea like that. but she is not believing us.

always find something to blame us. he is so much worried of my mil and sil's life.. he is not happy now a days. please how can we explain them... also tel me suggestion for my sil's life.
 

sumitra

Ruler's of Penmai
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#2
Dear Reethi, I understand your problem. Your sil is a matured girl you know. leave her to live with your family for some more time. stop advising her. first ask your husband also not to intervene in your sil'sdecision. first gain the confidence of your mil. mil is a having very important role to play here. your husband cannot go against his mother and sister. In the meanwhile, tell your sil's husband make visits to your house and gain love and affection of your sil. After sometime say two or three months, slowly after gaining confidence from your mil, ask your sil's husband to take her to outboud trips to other states or abroad if financial position permits. this will make your sil and his husband to understand the life and an opportunity will be given to them to understand each other. this may be slow process but I have seen in my own life this method helped my sister and her husband to live a happy life even today. their case was also like yours only. but myself and my husband planned in such a way that they understand each other and go united in decision making about their own life. when they understand each other they will come to an amicable solution. try this. keep calm and tell your husband also keep quiet for some time. dont advise. the only thing in this world which is disliked by sils is advice from the another lady that too from you. Hence if this method is acceptable to you and your husband go ahead. the time only will solve all these problems. Human mind is always change to the way inwhich it has to change on its own. no compulsion. no advice. thanks...........................
 

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