MIL-Can we discuss our personal matters

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#1
Hi All,

This is my first ever post in this forum. I saw the penmai website some four days back, the situation dragged me here. I am married for two yrs as like normal, all are asking abt the conception. My mil asked me like 'is my son co-operative to u in matter' i was shocked... got mute in phone. My husband family s very open, they even discuss adult jokes ith everyone. I felt very disgusting even now but wht to do.... can we discuss our mil to this level? can i allow it? i asked my close friend but wht she told i was literally shocked and couldnt digust at all. She said her mil saw her sex with her husband evn her husband dint mind tht. Wht the hell!! or is tht normal in every possessive or most interfering mil?? dnt knw wht to say... ppl around me asking me to adjust for everything...
 

jv_66

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#2
Hi friend,

Welcome to Penmai.


Your MIL, may be worried about you, for not having conceived yet. All the other relatives would have asked her, like this,"Is everything OK with the couples". She is turning the question to you.

Many elders ask like this, because, the young couples, may not know the main tactics of sexual relationships, between the couples. They may think, that, they could help their son and DIL, in some or other way, so that they could get a grand child.

You can think them as doctors ,who will ask the in and out questions of your sexual relationship, if you approach them for the non-conception. This is also not wrong, because, everyone does not know everything. The couple may be wrong somewhere. So, they may correct it.

In the similar way, Your MIL may also feel.

She only asked this isn't it (is your husband OK)?

If she is going very detailed, you may tell her, that you feel shy to tell her, and you don't want to discuss this with others.

And, if they are sharing Adult jokes and if you don't like it, you may just move away from that place. So, they would understand , that , you don't like it. You may also tell your husband about this, because, later, if your child comes, they should not continue this.


And coming to your friend's matter, that can never be allowed. Her MIL seem to be a type of Psychopath, rather mentally disturbed. No normal person would do like this. You need not allow such situations
 
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sumitra

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#3
Hi All,

This is my first ever post in this forum. I saw the penmai website some four days back, the situation dragged me here. I am married for two yrs as like normal, all are asking abt the conception. My mil asked me like 'is my son co-operative to u in matter' i was shocked... got mute in phone. My husband family s very open, they even discuss adult jokes ith everyone. I felt very disgusting even now but wht to do.... can we discuss our mil to this level? can i allow it? i asked my close friend but wht she told i was literally shocked and couldnt digust at all. She said her mil saw her sex with her husband evn her husband dint mind tht. Wht the hell!! or is tht normal in every possessive or most interfering mil?? dnt knw wht to say... ppl around me asking me to adjust for everything...
Hi Perkypal, I understand your astonishment. There is nothing to get confused in this matter. The way of asking the daughter in law regarding "that matter"differs from MIL to MIL. Your MIL's way of asking need not be misunderstood in any other way. Once upon a time these "matters"were considered not to spoken openly in public and the younger persons in the family won't discuss about these "matters" with the elderly persons and vice versa. Now the world is changed. The environment is changed. Hence there is no meaning in taking these "matters" differently. There is nothing to get shocked. If there is any problem with your husband in that "matter", you can openly discuss with the same with your MIL and with her concurrence take your husband to a good doctor for a possible solution. Don't believe anything told by your friend in this regard. That may be true or not. World is fast changing in this "matter". You have to digest all these things. But the word adjusting has got lot of meanings. Don't adjust for any thing which is affecting your modesty. Take care. All the best. thanks
 
Joined
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#4
Thank you all for the reply.... @jayanthi,@sumitra u r advice really made some clear view in my mind thanks.... i think i can discuss this to my mil to some comfortable zone.... i dt have sisters or any elders to discuss such things in my life. i too feel shy to ask or consult to some one.... thank u
 

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