Misunderstanding and problems with my husband... How to overcome or cope up with this?

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#1
Good evening all.. I am in need to get advice or suggestion from you guys. I got married before a year, ours is an arranged marriage. he is working in mnc as software engineer and i am being a housewife. i worked before my marriage after that i quited because his family wanted me to do so. I was happy by taking that decision at that time. Now me and my husband are living alone. so i am boring in my householding works. so i asked him to cont my job. first fight started from that incident. so i left that idea too. but after that whatever i say he misunderstood and starting to fight with me. he related my points with my job obligation and starting argue with me. i clearly explained that if you dont like i wont go for job and i already left that idea. so please dont relate my words to that. but he never listen to my words. he might be think that i am acting or impressing him by my words. so he is not listening my words. please tel me to what should i do overcome this problem. how to lead a happy life with him.
 

nlakshmi

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#2
heyMLraghav,
What are the reasons behind the fight? does he not want his wife to work at all or any other reasons like family commitments etc... Did you ask why he did not want you to work. There should be some strong reasons behind it.. First ask him that... Fight is nothing in married couple life... But how to solve the fight does matter. If you would like to share the reasons too, then it will be helpful to give suggestions...
 

sowmyasri0209

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#3
Hi MLRAGAV,


There is a well know saying that "if you win over a fight you will lose a friend", so try to argue when the other person is starting for a fight try to listen and not to argue.... I see from your post that you told like

i clearly explained that if you dont like i wont go for job and i already left that idea
dont say like that to him again this they will take in wrong scene and may thing that you are pointing to this to make him accept whatever you say.... so dont point that again surely not while there is a chance of fight eruption.


Also you pointed that
Now me and my husband are living alone. so i am boring in my householding works.
so you real issue is not going for job but kill your boredom in doing household chores..... so try to do the chores with some things you loves....

Like you can enjoy cooking while hearing music in a stereo or from an FM.

Try folding cloths while watching TV and in rest of time you can enjoy making some craft or some things.... You can talk to your husband regarding your boredom....

Better ask him for some suggestions... Dont ask him for suggestions while he is tried and hungry talk to him when he is in a cool mood....

Share things with him in a smooth way... it will make him to look at things from your angle...

Hope you make him understand yourself.
 

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