mother in law not accepting me

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#1
hi friends

i got married before a year. it is a love marriage. my husband is very loveable and caring. my mil still not accepting. she communicates with me very rarely. she feels that i separated his son from her. we are living in joint family. except her everyone in the family talking with me well and good. but she is not allowing me to anything for her. if i bought or cook anything for her, she won't touch it. she only cooks for everyone. if i wish to help her, she simply went out from the place. it is really hurting me very much. still she is doing the same things. i even can't cook for my husband what i love to do. my husband also knows everything. i asked him to live separately. but he is convincing me and ask me to wait for sometime. but i can't bear such things.
 

Mary Daisy

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#2
hai sruthi . . .
its nt a big prblm .. .

just see frm out side...

y u deeply cncentrat about this 1ly. . .!!!!

thn i think ur mil dnt wnt to show love and care on u. . .
she hv som xpetation too about her son's mrg . .

suddnly her dreams may spoil or cant ready to accept d real. . .
so she behav lik that. . . .

so dnt argue or gt angry. . .

pls wait for her caring & lov. . .

surly she wil change. . .

some tims her behaviour may hurt u.. bt try to ignore that..
bcs son mela ula pasam than reason. . .

1 yr thane ache. . .
konjam porumaiya irunga. . . .

talk with all family members frndly manner...
behav nrmally. . . .

hus ku pidicha sapadu seiya mudilanu feel panringa. . .
bt nimathiya 2 perum sapdrathu than important. . .

so konjam vitu pidinga...
thape ila. .. .

show ur lov .. caring.. to ur mil. . . . .& others

ithai perusa think pana than prblma therium. . . .
worry panrathai stop panunga. .. . .

join family la irunthu avungala crct panrathai pathi yosinga. . . . .

seekram kids ku way panunga.. . .

thn mil ku respect kudukirathula vallal pol nadnthukunga. .. . ;)

avungaluku pidicha sweets, snacks, dress, kovil,paattu, apdi ipadinu yethaiyathu apo apo yeduthu vitute irunga. . . .

important. . .
unga mil pathi akkam pakkam vampu pechu no. . . . . .!!!
its wil create big prblm. ..
so . . .. .. . . .

unga mamanar yepadi. . .?!??!

better na . . .?!
avar kooda partnership vachi unga athai ma va unga anbal veelthi vidunga. . .. . ! :whistle:

al d bst. . . .

tension agathinga. .. .
coll a deal panunga pa. .. . . .

keep smiling always... and shows to all . . .
it wil giv u more happiness . . . . . !!!!:thumbsup
 

jv_66

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#3
Welcome to Penmai....Shruthi.

Yes....this might happen to many mothers who cannot accept her son marrying against her wish.

You should feel very happy that you are accepted in a Joint family even if you are not fully accepted by your MIL.

If she is hating you very badly, she would not have accepted you to stay along with the family.

So, this is the initial stage and it will take some more years for her to accept you.

Please do not loose heart and be friendly and give your utmost care to her and also others in the family.

This will impress everyone in the family and surely others will support you and later within few more years your MIL will also start praising you for your soft attitude.

Never think to go separately from this family. Your MIL would be afraid about this only. Later you could never win her heart if you go separately.

Now coming to the cooking, if she is cooking in the morning, you be doing all the rest of the household works.

Later in the evening, you may start cooking according to your husband's and other family member's wishes.

This will give satisfaction for you too.

You can ask about the taste and wishes of the foods from any of the family member like SIL, co-sister and others.

For some time, let your MIL eat , whatever she cooked. Don't feel about this. Later one day, she will surely change.

Once you give birth to a child , she will surely change and will be best MIL and grand mother.

All the best.


Please click the below link, from which few points may help you to tackle your MIL.

http://www.penmai.com/forums/laws/69936-tips-maintain-good-relations-mil.html
 
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#4
hi mary hi jayanthy.

thank you both for spending your time for me. before our marriage, we both wait for 3 years to get married both our families. but both our parents did not accepted. we did not have any option. so we got married. after that both accepted us. my in-laws also invited us to live with them. father in law is too good and he is talking with me well. but my mil only hurting me. i don't know how to get her affection. i specially gifted sarees for festivals but she didn't even touch it. there after even i bought anything for her, i don't give her. i made my husband to present that to her. this and all only made me to worry. how can i make her to accept? veen pidivatham panranga. ore veetla pesama oruthar mugathu oruthar pathutu irukarathu romba kastama iruku. surely i will follow your advices.
 

sujasenthil

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#5
hi mary hi jayanthy.

thank you both for spending your time for me. before our marriage, we both wait for 3 years to get married both our families. but both our parents did not accepted. we did not have any option. so we got married. after that both accepted us. my in-laws also invited us to live with them. father in law is too good and he is talking with me well. but my mil only hurting me. i don't know how to get her affection. i specially gifted sarees for festivals but she didn't even touch it. there after even i bought anything for her, i don't give her. i made my husband to present that to her. this and all only made me to worry. how can i make her to accept? veen pidivatham panranga. ore veetla pesama oruthar mugathu oruthar pathutu irukarathu romba kastama iruku. surely i will follow your advices.
Hi shruthi...
It ll definitely take time to accept ma. I can understand ur pain. but think in this way. U got a wonderful hubby and family. U got married to him,u ve got him..so u can be happy ma... Ur MIL wil come to kn abt u..even she knws about ur gud qualities,some ego is there to stop her..even in arranged marriage this may happen due to possessiveness towards her son. Dont expose ur rights towards ur hubby infront of her for somedays... this may help....
 

sumitra

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#6
Hi Shruthi, please wait. Please allow your mil to cook for all of you and try to gain confidence from your mil. Show utmost care and love towards her. All the best. thank you!
 

sathya88

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#7
hi shruthi patience is the key for your problem. please give her some time. let her to show her anger in such activities. once she tired of her activities, she will left those things. pls dont react for her. be calm and handle this with love and care. she will accept you very soon.
 

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