Moving to in laws house dilemma

Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Messages
4
Likes
8
Location
Mumbai
#1
First off, my experience on this site as a male has been good so far. I am now posting this because this is why I joined the site in the first place.
I have been in a relationship with a girl for 3 years and we are considering marriage now. I live in a city different from my hometown while she is from here. Her family is originally from the north east (manipur). They are very strict about their customs as per which the groom needs to move to the girl's house post marriage. Something I am not very comfortable with. Though there is only her mother and younger sister in her house but I still am trying to convince her to live separately.
Her sister is very cool while I got vibes from her mother because she wanted her to marry a north eastern boy.
In case I move in with them, how do you rate your experience when you got married? I am not very talkative by nature, how do I communicate such stuff to them?
Hoping for some positive replies.
 

sathya88

Citizen's of Penmai
Joined
Jun 25, 2014
Messages
524
Likes
610
Location
Ramnad
#4
hi you can talk to your girl friend regarding this. as you are in relationship with her for 3 years, she can understand you very well. if you don't like to stay in your in-laws house, first tell this to your girl friend. explain her everything about what you think and tell her the reasons. she will understand you. ask her to talk this matter with her mom and try convince her.

for this problem, my personal advice is "live separately". don't live in in-laws house. that won't be good for your married life.
 

jv_66

Super Moderator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Joined
Dec 2, 2011
Messages
32,163
Likes
83,727
Location
Bangalore
#5
Welcome to Penmai....friend.

It is always better to live separately and not in your in-laws house.

But if your fiance insists about this, and if you are also ready for this, then I can suggest you to look out for a bigger house which you maintain (both financially and physically) and bring in your MIL and SIL to your house.

Now you will have the dominant power and you need not rely on them. This will gain you self respect.

If you do this arrangement, then your parents or any of your relatives also may not hesitate to come , visit and stay in your house.

You can tell this reason to your fiance.

When you ought to live with your in-laws, think your MIL as your own mother and SIL as your own sister.

you need not talk much. Most of the men do not talk much and that too with their in-laws.

So, this will not be a big problem.

Just few smiles both in the morning and evening would do.

If necessary, you can help your wife in taking care of your MIL's health.

Never be intimate with your SIL.

Just a friendly inquiry would do. Give her a brotherly affection when necessary.

All the best.
 
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Messages
4
Likes
8
Location
Mumbai
#6
Thanks for your replies. We have talked about this and according to the customs I will have to live with them. Maybe after a year or two we can move out. Girl friend she is okay with everything and so is mil but I still don't get those vibes from the mil. She seems too controlling. Or maybe i am just thinking too much!
hi you can talk to your girl friend regarding this. as you are in relationship with her for 3 years, she can understand you very well. if you don't like to stay in your in-laws house, first tell this to your girl friend. explain her everything about what you think and tell her the reasons. she will understand you. ask her to talk this matter with her mom and try convince her.

for this problem, my personal advice is "live separately". don't live in in-laws house. that won't be good for your married life.
 

Similar threads

Important Announcements!

Type in Tamil

Click here to go to Google transliteration page. Type there in Tamil and copy and paste it.