my co-sisters are always gossiping

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#1
hi dear sisters

i am vidhya. i got married in january month. my in law family is very big family with 4 sons and 2 sisters. we are living in joint family. i am the last daughter in law of this family. i have 3 co-sisters who older than me. my nathanars also got married they are settled in bangalore. i don't have any problems with my in laws (athai, mama or nathanars). but my problem is with my co-sisters who are always joining together and talking bad about others in the family. they always talk about my nathanars and their in laws family and relatives. at times they are speaking about my athai maama. they want to me to join with them, but i dont like to talk like they are. i dont have any personal offence on them. i dont even like to sit and talk with them when they do like this. but they are forcing me to join with their meeting. i dont like this character of theirs. they also advicing me not to be like what i am now. they said you are new to family so unaku vivaram pathathu. ivangakita ippadi than irukkanum etc etc. i like my in laws family. they didnt anything bad to me still. i can feel their care on me. i used to talk with sils everyday. they are like my friends. but these co-sisters behaviour only hurts. i cant understand why they are behaving like this. when those three alone they talk about others very very badly. but they act before others that they only cares much for them, why they are playing dual role like this. how to avoid them with out hurting them. i said to my mom about them, she adviced to keep distance from them. but i dont know how to stay away from them. please dear sisters help me. give me ideas to handle them.
 

jv_66

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#2
Welcome to Penmai Srividhya.

Sad to know about the characters of your co-sisters.

No dear. You please never join them in their talks.

If you know any craft making or any other art making, just start doing them when they call you to join them in their talks, thus pretending to be busy.

Or, if you could join any job, you may join thus avoiding them.

Or if you could join any classes like, Hobby classes, music, computer class or anything like these, you can join and thus avoid their talks.

At the same time, don't always avoid their talks. They may suspect your activities.

You should avoid them without their knowledge and suspicion.

Even if you happen to sit along with them during their talks, please never open your mouth in any gossip about your in laws. Later, they might reveal only your talks in front of them and embarrass you. Technology has improved a lot and they might exploit you by recording your talks. so, be careful about these also.

You can tell them that you will just listen to what they talk as you do not know much about your in laws. Thus you can avoid to talk ill about your in laws.

And again, please don't reveal any of the talks to any of your in laws or your husband.

Just keep it with you and your mom.

You have a very good attitude and please continue the same.
 

saralajagan

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#3
Dear vidhyaa,
BEST WISHES FOR UR MARRIED LIFE.puthu poonu dont worry.
Gossip பேசறவங்க பேசி போகட்டும்.நீ அமைதியாக இருந்து விடு.அவங்களை உன்னால் மாற்ற முடியாது.நம் கையில் இருக்கும் 5 விரல்களே different shape அண்ட் sizeயில் இருக்கிறது.உறவுகளும் அப்படி தான்.
அமைதி என்ற ஆயுதத்தை கையில் எடுத்து கொள்.Life சூப்பரா இருக்கும்.
Always take care of in-laws.
 

vijivedachalam

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#4
Hi sri vidhya..happy married life ma... First don't get tension... I can understand ur feelings..... when we are newly married we will get different different experience..... try to face it everything boldly without any fear......don't listen to unwanted gossips da.....u try to move friendly with ur co sister.. one day she will understand u....U gift some surprising gifts to ur co sister.. surely she will surrender:).....In laws are ur back bone ......so take care of them.....first don't feel for small things.... try to mingle with every one.....First enjoy ur married life da......
 

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