my husband cheated me what should i do?

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#1
i was married before 6 months , it was arranged marriage. he is not in our close relation circle. our life was good till last month. i came to know from her ex-girl friend that they are lovers and i had disturbed their life. she is telling me that she won't allow us to live a peaceful life. i am so much depressed, when i am asking some details about this with him he is telling answers in confusing way. i am not at all satisfied with the answers. he is telling lies to me. he is promising that he will never to her again. but i can't trust him.

till now i diddn't conveyed this to my parents or in-laws. what can i do now?

i can understand that in todays world only few had no past ex relationships. i didn't bother about that but he have to be atleast true to me after marriage.
 

sumitra

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#3
i was married before 6 months , it was arranged marriage. he is not in our close relation circle. our life was good till last month. i came to know from her ex-girl friend that they are lovers and i had disturbed their life. she is telling me that she won't allow us to live a peaceful life. i am so much depressed, when i am asking some details about this with him he is telling answers in confusing way. i am not at all satisfied with the answers. he is telling lies to me. he is promising that he will never to her again. but i can't trust him.

till now i diddn't conveyed this to my parents or in-laws. what can i do now?

i can understand that in todays world only few had no past ex relationships. i didn't bother about that but he have to be atleast true to me after marriage.
Hi KVRT, I am really sorry to read about your problem. kindly bring this matter to the knowledge your parents or in-laws. don't keep the problem with you!

You please submit your prayers to the God and definitely the God will help you to solve your problem.


all the best! thank you!
 

ramyaraj

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#4
Hi Sister.

I can understand your feelings.

Don't get depressed, it's not your mistake. Be bold.

One time you give chance for him to change. Explain him everything what will happen in future if he is going to continue with his girl friend. Don't talk about this matter with him again and again. you show your love and affection to him.

Wait for 3 more months, watch you husband's activity, see how he is behaving. if he is not changed better you inform your parents and your in-laws.

If they both are working in same office, it is better to change your husbands job because if they meet regularly, in future there are chance to get close again.

Have good hope. All the best.
 

jv_66

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#5
This is a real pathetic situation for you.

But please don't worry.

As you have said that this is common in these days to have affairs before marriage and it is very much true.

But most of them come out of it totally and live a true affectionate life with the married wife and the children.

Now, when the ex-girl threatens you, I think your husband would have already asked his parents to marry her and they might have denied for it.

So, now you can tell this matter to your Parents and also the In-laws. Only then, they will accept for the steps taken in future, by you.

That is, one day, when your husband is in good mood, ask him to explain all the details which have happened in his life regarding that lady, before your marriage.

Tell him this will be the last time, you will want to ask all the details , from him and ask him not to hide anything.

Ask him the reason, why they were not able to get married.

Ask him whether he is still in her thoughts since that girl is threatening you.If he is denying this, then you ask him, whether he would be ready to quit this job or get transferred to a distant place from where you live now.

If he is accepting for this proposal, then explain him about your future life with him which should go without any hiccups throughout your married life and how your children would be affected if he is to continue his relationship with her also along with you.

Tell him to find a suitable job immediately in a distant place or get transferred from this office itself to a distance place, which would help you and him not to meet her often , so that the girl would not poison his mind by meeting him often.

Also tell him to explain to that girl to get married to some one else and lead a happier life, and not to interfere in your life hereafter.

If that girl is again threatening you, you can also explain her to get married and settle down in her life happily, and not to spoil your husband and your married life. This might affect all the people involved in this which is totally unnecessary. Ask her to forget all the past and live a pleasant present and future with someone else.

After this, tell all the things to your Parents and In-laws.

Ask about their opinion also, about your plans to live in some other place.

And with your parents, you should tell them not to bounce on your in-laws or your husband immediately, but wait for your husband's reaction and steps he is taking to handle the situation.

If they bounce on these people immediately, the situation may turn grave .

If suppose, the girl also accepts to get married , then you both can stay in this place(city) itself, but if they both are working in the same office, tell your husband strictly to change the office.

Probably, the intervention of your in-laws will have a positive effect on your husband's attitude and will surely save your married life.

Once he accepts and comes out of her, never in your life, talk about his past and make him feel guilty.

So please don't worry and take these steps immediately and live a happy married life with this husband.

In the extreme case, If nothing works out and if your husband is still roaming around her, then , it is safe for you to get separated from him and marry someone else
 
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#6
thanks for your answers. i had some idea from you both. i thought to tell to my brother first. so that i can avoid problems in future and can get guidance from him.

like what you advised i have idea to give a chance for him. let me see how he reacts and after that with help of my brother i am going to tell my parents and in-laws.

hope our life will be good after this.
 

jv_66

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#7
thanks for your answers. i had some idea from you both. i thought to tell to my brother first. so that i can avoid problems in future and can get guidance from him.

like what you advised i have idea to give a chance for him. let me see how he reacts and after that with help of my brother i am going to tell my parents and in-laws.

hope our life will be good after this.

Sure friend, You are going to lead a very happy life with him.

We all will pray for your happy married life.
 
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#8
yesterday i talked with my brother. he was very much upset with these happenings. atlast he consolde me much and he said it is better to tell our parents. i think today or tomorrow night he will tell this to our parents.

i had got some details about that girl. she is not working in my husbands office. he is friend of friend like that. my husband placed in this job after much struggle i got this from my mil. so i think changng the job is not good since he can't get good pay if he changed the job.

i am waiting for my annas reply and my parents reply . i don't know how my parents will suffer if they know this.

thanks much jayanthy for your reply too. thank you ramya and sumitra too.
 

sujasenthil

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#9
hi KVRT... welcome

This is very sad to read....

please be bold and try to change him by showing ur love... think that ur 100% love is for him.... if u were calm and bold enough to face without shouting at him ,he ll realize ur LOve and affection...

In future he ll think all about u and he will be true to u....

And It ll be more painfull wen ur parents come to knw. But there should be a guidence for u..

our prayers with u ma.... dont lose hope... Everything is for goodness only... may this lead him to love more than his ex.
 

jv_66

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#10
yesterday i talked with my brother. he was very much upset with these happenings. atlast he consolde me much and he said it is better to tell our parents. i think today or tomorrow night he will tell this to our parents.

i had got some details about that girl. she is not working in my husbands office. he is friend of friend like that. my husband placed in this job after much struggle i got this from my mil. so i think changng the job is not good since he can't get good pay if he changed the job.

i am waiting for my annas reply and my parents reply . i don't know how my parents will suffer if they know this.

thanks much jayanthy for your reply too. thank you ramya and sumitra too.
If your husband is not in a position to change his job, then you may do the following, because,when he has more chances to meet her often and if she is also in the intention of plucking him from you, you ought to be very careful.

Show all your love and affection to your husband from which he should think twice or thrice to even think about that girl. He should be showered by your love and affection.

Even if he agrees to your brother and your parents, that, he will not leave you and stay with you only for ever, your brother may have an eye over him for the next 1 year atleast without the knowledge of your husband and that girl.

But at the same time, you should not even show him that you suspect him. You got to tell him that you totally believe him and you should show in your action also.

All the best dear.
 

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