my husband is male gender oriented

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#1
married to an orthodox family before 2 year, Just now planned for baby. But my husband and inlaws are treating female in low compared to male. they also telling that they need a male baby only. how to make them understand that baby is a god's gift?
 

jv_66

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#2

Welcome Hema.

Glad that you have planned your pregnancy.

It is very surprising, that in this century, even your husband is not able to understand about the main creator of the child.

When you become pregnant, take your husband to the doctor, along with you. Prior to that, you may tell the doctor, about your in-law's views.

The doctor will tell your husband, that , he is the main responsible person to determine the gender of the child, and it is not in your hands.

Hope, with this, he will understand and not blame you later.

Then, during another check-up, you may take your MIL along with you. Ask the doctor to explain the same, and the doctor will surely tell her that both the children are same.

So, please do not worry.
 

Rudhraa

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the reply given by jayanthy is good... Clear to both your husband and inlaws that wife is not responsible for the gender only the husband is responsible.

make your husband to understand that both genders are equal...
 

GayathriArun

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Dear Hema,

What does your husband want, a baby or a boy?

Tell your husband that Gender discrimination is horrible, especially for a fetus that cant think or speak for itself.

The baby boy or girl it doesnt matter. This shows immaturity of your husband. He cant be picky when it comes to HIS CHILD. All that matters is that you are healthy and the baby is healthy. Now he may just be going through shock finding out he's fixing to be a father, so I do understand that, but he should rejoice in this wonderful experience of being a father and not being picky to be a baby boy's father or baby girl's father.

Neither girl nor boy child is more trouble, what they are worth it depends on the parenting they get, so he is wrong thinking like that!!

Make him understand that it is not his choice what you decide on the baby. Try to get a conselling for him with his well wishers or with some one in the family or relation to whom he listens and respects. Getting advise from the doctor is also a good choice. Handle the situation carefully. May God bless you!
 

datchu

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#5
The reply given by jayanthy is good...and very Clear to both your husband and inlaws that wife is not responsible for the gender only the husband is responsible.

Make your husband to understand that both genders are equal...

datchu​





 

GayathriArun

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#6
Hi Hema,

One of my neighbour says that she had given birth to a boy after being a mother for 2 girls by following Shettles method.

Though this method doesn't have scientific proof many women claim to get the baby with the gender choice. After reading about it, i also find that it has some logic. So why dont you give it a try?

I will explain it shortly, you can google it and get detailed information about it.

Men produce two types of chromosome, pre-determining the gender of the baby-to-be. The X chromosome being female and Y chromosome being male. Dr. Shettles found from his studies that the male sperm are smaller, weaker and faster and female sperm are are bigger, stronger and slower.

The closer to ovulation that you have intercourse, the higher the likelihood that you will have a boy. If you would like a boy, intercourse should take place during times of peak fertile mucus or no more than 12 hours before ovulation since the boy sperm is small, weak and faster they will reach the egg faster.

If you were to have intercourse two to four days prior to ovulation, the higher the likelihood that you will have a girl. This is because the female sperm live for much longer than the male sperm, allowing more female sperm to be able to reach the egg.

In your case by following the Shettles Method, there is less chance of achieving female conception as you are not having intercourse during your peak fertile times.

As far as i am concerned this is a simple theory with logic, try it. Also when you google you can find lots of women saying that they have got the baby with their preferred gender.

Its not that i am supporting your husband's view about being particular with a baby boy, if you get a boy your husband will be happy and so you will be too, simultaneously you can avoid certain issues, that's it.

Google about this method, you have all the necessary messages like, predicting the ovulation, maintaing your ph balance etc. If you have any doubts you can send me a personal message, will be happy to help you in this regard.
 
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sumitra

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Hi Hema, when I was 24 weeks pregnant with our first baby, my husband and their side all wanted male baby only, but the truth was different. For me it’s very exciting I’m not sure whether to tell my husband that it’s a girl. I was in a great dilemma like you only. What should I do??

My husband wants a son. Really, really badly wants a son. And he’s been quite open about his hopes that we’re having a boy throughout the whole pregnancy. Not in a negative “I don’t want a girl” way – once we have the baby I know he will be thrilled no matter what - but he calls my bump his “little man” and keeps telling everyone that he’s sure I’m having a boy.

The thing is though – I know it’s a girl! We had the 20 week scan and didn’t find out the sex, because my husband wants it to be a surprise. But I’m hopeless at waiting for surprises, so I phoned the clinic the next day and asked – and we’re having a girl!

That’s fine by me, I really don’t mind either way. But I just don’t know whether to tell my husband now so that he settles down with the whole “little man” routine in front of our friends or whether to not say anything and let him find out on the day. He really wants it to be a surprise – but he’s talking up the whole “I want a boy” thing way too much.

I consulted so many friends, elders and learned persons. all told me to keep quite and when actually the birth of baby will always remove all these beliefs and expectations. The husband or whomsoever will accept the reality and they will convince themselves and accept the girl baby. this is what I got the advice from most of the people.

So I decided to conceal the truth and I started to forget the thing totally. I took utmost care on my health and started my prayers with the God for successful natural child birth and happy situation after the child birth. The God has helped me lot in this regard as I have not wasted my energy in simply worrying about the aftermath of girl baby and other matters,.

I convinced myself that if my husband becoming seriously out of control and will live to regret (or be severely embarrassed by) what he’s saying, then maybe I should tell him – on the other hand, if he will probably just laugh about all his current “I want a boy” declarations when he meets his beautiful baby girl, then maybe there’s no need. Afterwards when I gave birth to the girl child born all were very happy and forgotten their adamant nature of asking for baby boy and they in turn started telling that Mahalakshmi has come to our house in the form of baby girl.

And they were thanking the God for keeping the child and mother so healthy also. They were happy that the natural child birth instead of Cesarian case.

Hence my sincere advise to you is not to worry at this stage and try to keep vigil on your health and take care of yourself and start believing on God and submit your prayers to remove this worry from your mind. Be cheerful. You will definitely cross through this hurdle as a passing cloud. all the best. The God is there always at your side to help you. Be happy.
 

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