my husband is not in good relationship with me

Sep 8, 2014
hi sisters i got married before 2 months. my marriage is an arranged marriage. there was only one month between our engagement and marriage. my husband used to talk very rarely in those days. i thought he might be shy and so he is behaving like that. but after marriage also he is not at all showing any interest to mingle with me. for the first 20 days we were in our mil's house. for virundhu and other functions he is talking with all in good manner. but only with me he is behaving like that. now we (me and my husband) are in separate house in chennai. he is not talking me well. only one word questions and answers. really i am getting bored and feeling lonely. he is not showing any interest or care on me. pls tel what i have to do. how to have good relationship with him. shall i tel about his behaviour to my parents or his parents. help me sisters


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Staff member
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Dec 2, 2011
Welcome to Penmai...Hema.

Congrats for your marriage.

Please don't worry dear.

This happens with few people. We can overcome this.

Your husband is talking to all the other people (must be his relatives, as you have said), since he knows them from his childhood.

And he might still hesitate to talk and mingle with you, as he might feel you as a stranger.

For few people, it may take a little bit more time to mingle, even with their wife or husband.

His friends and relatives might have cautioned him to be careful with the new wife who might dominate him in future and that he could loose his control over the family due to this nature of the wife. So, he might feel hesitated to be free and get accustomed with you.

Or this might be his nature, not to talk freely with the persons, whom he feels as strangers.

Now, what you can do is,

Make the coffee time both in the morning and evening just for your talks. If he is sitting with the news paper, just tell him politely, shall I talk few things about the family matter. You might discuss all the family matters, including the day to day expenditure and the plans to be executed for running the family.

You start talking with him.

Tell him that you want to be his very good friend.

Enquire about all his relatives, and their whereabouts.

Enquire about his childhood, School, college, Office, about all his friends and their family.

Enquire about his job and it's environment.

Enquire, whether he has any extra talent like singing , drawing, painting or any thing else.

Tell little about your family.

Tell little about your childhood, school, college and friends.

Never boast anything about you and your family.

At last tell him that you will feel very happy if he is talking to you , as a very good friend and will never feel bored if he is talking with you.

Also tell him even his presence, makes you very happy and that you want to be with him as far as possible (so that he would spend more time with you)

At the same time, don't talk too much and make him bored. Then he might avoid you and your talks.

Only in due course, he will start caring for you. Most of the men, do not care much for and about their wife atleast for a year or two, after the marriage. As the years pass on, their bonding gets stronger. So, please do not worry for this.

For much more tips, please click the below link

How to run Smooth family
Last edited:
Dec 26, 2013
Hearty welcome to penmai hema...

First of all, congratulations for your new married life..

I can feel your feelings..You left your parents, sisters, brothers and relatives for a new life..He might have grown shy not even talking to any girls before marriage even in this era, there are some persons who grown like this..If your husband is from any rural background, this may be one of the reason behind his behavior,,

The one and only solution for this is first you need to talk to your husband regarding this..

Make him feel comfortable with you,, try to move close with him..

Tell him that he is only support for you now..

Don't blame him for silly reasons

Slowly he will turn out to be so good to you..

I will surely pray for your lovely life ahead!!!

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