need counselling on wedding of my brother

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#1
my brother has some health problem from his birth. he can't control his urination it was due to some effects which he faced during his birth. during his school days he faced this problem very lot. he will change nappies and dress during interval, lunch breaks etc. though it was very better now it was quite low for him now. no one can identify this problem until he tell to others.

but he has no problem in sexual, he had even consulted with doctor. doctor said that it will not cause any problem in family life.

but he worries whether he have to tell this problem to the girls house or not. he is not have any motive to hide this problem, but don't know how to explain them. how they will take this and react.

help me and him with ideas if you have any how to explain this to girls family and settle well in married life.

thank you.
 

RathideviDeva

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#2
Hi Friend @ande
It is good to know that your brother has a supportive family.
You haven't stated how far his medical condition is interfering in his normal day to day life. But atleast it is in a manageable condition, without others knowing about it.

To be frank, even a child, after a certain age, who has a bed wetting habit is humiliated by his peers and others, when it is known. Even in western countries the situation remains the same.

If it is a bladder leakage problem, he cannot hide it from his partner. If he tries to hide, this would cause more emotional stress in their married life. Moreover when his partner finds it out herself, he could face even more problems, in addition to broken trust.

Hence it is better to tell the bride, atleast. The critical part is when and how to tell it. It shouldn't be neither too soon nor too late. If he opens up the matter to soon he is risking his chances of getting offers from other potential bride's family(as this problem will be known to everyone). If he opens up too late he is placing the bride in a critical position, which may endup in hurting both sides.

After he has found a potential match, and after few meetups, when he has gained the comfortability with her, he has to take her to a calm and relaxing outting like beach/ lake/park....(let this be a far away place, away from rustling city life)
He has to calmly and casually tell her about his medical condition. And the reason, he did not inform her before was, he wasn't comfortable enough talking about it to a stranger, and now that he knows and better understands her, he wants her to know everything about him, as he wants to start the relationship upon trust and friendship. Assure her that this will not impact their future married life, and if she is not convinced she can even consult his reports with a doctor. He should be prepared for any kind of response from her and give her enough time to think about and assure her he will support whatever she decides.

He and your family, should be supportive and strong enough to accept negative response too, as it is ok to loose 99 girls to get the 1 girl who truely loves him, beyond his issues.

Best wishes for your brother's happy married life.
 
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Joined
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#3
hi rathidevideva

thanks for answering to my question.

he or we dont have any idea to hide this. but dont know how to say this to other unknown family.

now my family seeking for proposal but still we feel a very lot for him.


any other suggestions.
 

RathideviDeva

Minister's of Penmai
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#4
hi rathidevideva

thanks for answering to my question.

he or we dont have any idea to hide this. but dont know how to say this to other unknown family.

now my family seeking for proposal but still we feel a very lot for him.


any other suggestions.
Ande as i mentioned before, you need not tell it to anyone, as this may scare others. Your brother needs to be prepared to tell, only to the possible bride. First, he should strongly beleive that his health issue is just a small discomfort which is not going to impact his married life. Only than he can convince his would-be better half.
 

RathideviDeva

Minister's of Penmai
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#6
thank you rathidevi. will try.

if there is any other solutions tell me here or mail me.
Sis,
Hopefully everything works out well and you brother settles down in his life with his soul mate.

I have no other solution sis. If I come across one, I'll definetly share with you. Also if your brother finds his bride please share the happy news with us.
 

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