Need suggestion and advice

#1
Hi All,

I love a guy but he told that he is not interested even tough i used to send him messages like Good Morning,Good Night and festive greetings to his mobile and emails for about 3 to 4 months and festive greetings to his email regularly...but suddenly one day he asked me to "stop sending him these messages"....need a clarification if he doesn't want to get the messages from me he should have informed at the beginning but y he didn't do and asking me to not text him now...i dono what he thinking and trying to tell...i don't want to miss him in my life...i couldn't forget him in my life....Need ur suggestions..
 

SSJR

New Member
#2
Hello friend...Welcome to Penmai...:angel:

You are saying that you love a guy but he does not reciprocate his feelings for you...Your dilemma is quite understandable...But, from what you have let us know, I am a bit confused...I mean, was he alright when you started sending him messages and all??? Was he sending you mixed signals or what??? Can you please elaborate on that?
 
#3
whenever i send a message he didn't say anything and ll not reply back to the messages....but i know he is reading all the messages i am sending.....even for this birthday(last month) i sent him messages in mobile and email..that time also he didn't say anything....two week before he texted me not to send any messages to him...his silence is really killing me....i am right couldnt think a life without him....
 
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#5
Hi...i am 26 yrs old.married...recently i came to know someone i really respect might have been getting close to aother lady who is not his wife...i have lost all sanity since...i am not able to be normal..in fact i am not even sure if its true..some telephone conversations and the fact that those calls are made secretly rise my suspicions...y i say is bcos i have seen the contact name displayed on screen in mobile..the way he talks is so very different than other calls..and soon after the call if i see the log that name wont be there..i dont know how his wife is not noticing but the very fact she might be cheated boils my blood.my husband keeps telling 'u have ur life.don feel bad'..but im not able to relax..i get tensed and upset even if i see some movie or any novels where any character cheats on his wife..pls help me come out of this problem
 

jv_66

Super Moderator
Staff member
#6
Hi...i am 26 yrs old.married...recently i came to know someone i really respect might have been getting close to aother lady who is not his wife...i have lost all sanity since...i am not able to be normal..in fact i am not even sure if its true..some telephone conversations and the fact that those calls are made secretly rise my suspicions...y i say is bcos i have seen the contact name displayed on screen in mobile..the way he talks is so very different than other calls..and soon after the call if i see the log that name wont be there..i dont know how his wife is not noticing but the very fact she might be cheated boils my blood.my husband keeps telling 'u have ur life.don feel bad'..but im not able to relax..i get tensed and upset even if i see some movie or any novels where any character cheats on his wife..pls help me come out of this problem
Hi Vaishu,

Feel pathetic and sorry for that wife.

But , your husband is right.

At the same time, you cannot be very much sure, what has really happened or happening.

Sometimes there may be a different story in that specific person's matter.

Always enquiring the matter totally will be the best solution for every problem. Just by seeing or hearing will always not be correct and proper.

And why do you poke your nose in that person's matter by watching the incoming calls, logs and overhearing the talks and much more?

This is totally unnecessary.

Many people may be like this, whom we respect a lot .

Just you be cautious with that person, in future.

When his wife comes to know about this or any of his other family members comes to know about this and if they seek your help, only then you can try to help and that too only till certain extent. His own family members may not like your interference.

So, if you happen to read any novels which have themes like this, then don't continue to read it.

Don't watch any serials in TV or any movies of this theme.

It is all in your hand and why do you worry for this.

What you can do for this is, when you happen to notice like this, just divert your mind by counting 1 - 100 and reverse counting of the same.

Similarly, you can divert your mind by hearing any melodious songs of your choice which will certainly soothe your mind.

You can immediately leave that place and concentrate on any other work or watch the cartoon, watch the school children , enjoy the garden and flowers and many things like this, which will definitely soothe your mind.

Please don't brood over these matters again and again.

All of us will feel the same when they come across these matters like reading, watching or hearing such incidents. and this is not only for yourself.
 
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#7
Thanks a lot jv...i forgot to mention im his very close relative...but i'll try to keep my mind clear of these things and try to forget i ever found such things..its going to be difficult but yes i will try...thanks again
 

jv_66

Super Moderator
Staff member
#8
Thanks a lot jv...i forgot to mention im his very close relative...but i'll try to keep my mind clear of these things and try to forget i ever found such things..its going to be difficult but yes i will try...thanks again

Welcome Vaishu.

But please keep one thing in mind.

However close the relative be, you cannot interfere in their personal matters like, checking his phone calls and similar other things.

You cannot do this even to your husband or children (in their teenage).

Every person needs their own privacy.

And they would really feel hurt if they loose this privacy. This is the situation nowadays.

Only in the case, and that too in the case of your husband or children, if you happen to suspect them of having any affair or any other illegal activity, you can check or interfere in their personal matters without their knowledge.

You cannot even interfere in your parents' or in-laws' privacy.

Please don't think bad about me for telling this. But everyone has changed nowadays and all of us need to follow, not to interfere in other's privacy in their own house.
 
#9
What I think is Different You said you sending him massages and e-mail regulary.. But now he said stop Sending....!

It mean he will get a another person in his life. Or one more reason I have is maybe he want you to clear all what you are thinking and what's your Future planning with him.
 
#11
The culture has changed now a days even when the parents enter the kids room they have to knock before entering. So seeing others mobile itself is wrong.

Everyone has their personal life and we must value it as we really cant understand why they do this but they will be having their own reason and it may be look right from their point of view.

So it is always better to keep our mind relaxed instead of taking too many things into our head.

Wishes
 
#14
I Think Op must have misunderstood that person's attention, as she said he didn't reply back at all. It means that he is not interested and may have found someone else. So It is better to leave him and go on with your life. Fortunately, you relation wasn't serious or it will be much difficult for you to leave him then.