Need Valuable Suggestion !!! Really urgent

Joined
Oct 27, 2012
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#1
Hi,

My boyfriend is not accepting for marriage and if i ask for reason he is telling his parents will not accept other caste girl and they will except more dowry..He is telling numbers of reasons to avoid me ..He avoided me almost.

i am really depressed due to him and i cant console my self. Every time he is in my mind.i just cant able concentrate on my work.All the time i am thinking about him and am crying at night times.. I just want get out of these thoughts also want to achieve something good in my carrier . Is there any way to change my mind and how come he forgot me so quickly if it is true love?
 

vijivedachalam

Ruler's of Penmai
Penman of Penmai
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#2
Hi sumi, dont cry. Because your valuable tears should not wasted for selfish person. Still you thinking about him shows you loved him so deeply. But the guy didnt. So better avoid this kind of person. Dowry minded wont help you to lead a happy life. Thank the god before marriage itself you known his original face. Just be calm now. Do meditation and divert your full mind to your family. Concentrate on your job. Bright future is awaiting for you. If your love is true means surely god will punish the guy in anyway. So dont think the person. Just delete his contact number and delete the thought also. Love panum pothu varatha caste., marriage pathi pesurapa epdi varuthu. He is making you fool da. Better you avoid him.
 

rthilag

Friends's of Penmai
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#3
Hi Friend,
Things are easy to say compared to implementing the things.. Women are mentally stronger than man. You have already taken the first step of recovery by coming to Penmai. So, I congratulate you first and you will recover. Condolences are only for weak people. You may not realize yourself as a strong woman . But, I don't consider you as a weak girl but a emotional person right now because you are educated and living in a city.
Before taking any step , first sit and discuss with your boy friend as a friend not as a lover. Few boys are immature and disorganized. They start to think about reality very late. Take a break time from him and convince and encourage yourself as a emotional friend of him but not a lover. Then one fine day, question him directly whether he has second thoughts about getting married .Judge him from his answers and tell him that you are going to break up in any case and going to take separate path. Also, tell him that you are ready to get married to him any day if his parents are ready to accept you and break up with him. let him also take his time to think through what he is really upto. But , you don't build any hopes around him and don't linger around him.
Always , any human needs emotional support from others during their struggling time. To avoid depression, spend more time with your family and other friends . In between, force yourself to read books like "you can win",sri ravishankar and jagi vasudev's books and boost your confidence. Read , Read until you are tired and sleepy . Don't leave your mind free . Once your confidence is building up, take a vacation from office and plan a trip with your parents and think about all goodness about having your family. After the trip, join yourself in hobby class and start studying technical books to build your career. If possible, spend time on philanthropic activities as there are other weak and poor people.
In a year, you would have become more stable and he would have become the passing cloud,Then, you would be in a better state to think about future.
 
Joined
Oct 27, 2012
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#5
Hi rthilag,

Thanks for ur reply. Even i tried this technique that is taking break from him for short period of time.ya i didnt speak with him for few months and again i asked one day about marriage.the reply like he is very strong in his decision and he said like your so adamant in this matter and i don't like ur adamant char,pls leave me,don't make call hereafter bla bla bla....Seems like he forgot me.But ennala tha marakka mudiyala..
 

nlakshmi

Minister's of Penmai
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May 21, 2011
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#7
hey sumi,
Good thing happened in your life. so dont feel..Am not sarcastic.coz, If somebody puts their love behind and talks about dowry and different caste when you really need him, then he is not worth it. He will not keep you happy. either he had no intention of marrying you from the start or he is emotionally stopped from marrying you by the family. In both circumstances, you wont get support from him and your maRRIED LIFE may be like hell. There is nothing to get depressed for a worthless person. Think of your parents who supports you in every action you take. do you want them to be worried too coz of this worthless love. Ofcourse your side might be a true one.. but crying for someone who didnot respect you and your feelings for him, Who is hesistant to show commitment,, Who cannot give any promise on marriage is not just worth it at all. Concentrate on your career. Occupy your time by doing any course, Art etc. Dont ever show that you are vulnerable to him. If you have any closest friend then talk to them. They may advice or just listen to you, but either way you just let out what you have in mind to someone who cannot judge you. Then you will be half relieved. It will take time but its in your hands to come out of this disappointment and move on. If you are very close to your parents, then you can talk to your mom or dad about this so that they will give the moral and mental support you need. Seriously, parents support during the time of distress give strength of the elephant. So go ahead, Its in your hands, to make your life colorful or black& white.. Life doesnot end there. You learn from your mistake. Take this as the experience , what life has taught you about some people like this and mould yourself better. Crying will never find any solution. It will make you vulnerable and push you to the depressing solutions that you regret later.

All the best
Hi,

My boyfriend is not accepting for marriage and if i ask for reason he is telling his parents will not accept other caste girl and they will except more dowry..He is telling numbers of reasons to avoid me ..He avoided me almost.

i am really depressed due to him and i cant console my self. Every time he is in my mind.i just cant able concentrate on my work.All the time i am thinking about him and am crying at night times.. I just want get out of these thoughts also want to achieve something good in my carrier . Is there any way to change my mind and how come he forgot me so quickly if it is true love?
 

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