No shame in seeing a sex therapist


Lord of Penmai
Jul 5, 2011
No shame in seeing a sex therapist

Whenever we suffer an asthmatic attack or a lung infection, we immediately go to a chest physician. If our digestive system gets dysfunctional, we do not hesitate to go to a gastroenterologist. For a skin problem, dermatologists are consulted promptly.

But whenever a man suffers from a sexual problem where he can neither enjoy sex himself nor can he satisfy his partner, he either avoids going to a sex therapist, or is ignorant about the existence of such a specialist, who is trained in treating sexual problems. If a woman suffers pain during intercourse or finds herself unable to reach an orgasm, she, at the most, may visit her gynaecologist, but would never think of consulting a sex therapist. Here are some situations/conditions when one should consult a sex therapist.

nWhen one finds that he or she has no desire, low desire or altered desire for sex. 'Altered desire' implies a person who experiences intense and recurrent sexual urges, behaviours or fantasies that involve unusual objects, activities or situations and cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational and other areas of functioning.

- When the sexual desire and need of married partners mismatches most of the time.
- When a man either fails to 'attain' or 'sustain' an erection in spite of appropriate sexual stimulation i.e. Erectile Dysfunction.
- When a man is unable to penetrate and perform intercourse during sexual intimacy with a willing partner.
- When a man ejaculates earlier than his own or his partner's expectations persistently on a regular basis, i.e. premature ejaculation, resulting in a complete lack of sexual satisfaction for both partners.
- When a man takes an excessively long time to ejaculate, or is unable to ejaculate in spite of proper sexual intercourse with a willing partner, i.e. Retarded ejaculation.
- When he or she has disturbing doubts and anxieties related to their sexual desire, arousal, capability, stamina, performance or even satisfaction.

- Whenever he or she has doubts or anxieties about the anatomy and functioning of one's own or the partner's sex organs.
- When he or she has disturbing attitude issues regarding their own or their partner's role in a sexual act. For example, who should take the initiative, what is the correct technique and duration of foreplay, what should be the correct frequency of intercourse, when and where intercourse should or should not be performed, who is supposed to be an active partner, etc.
- When he or she is obsessively preoccupied with sexual feelings, desires or urges that it is affecting their ability to perform essential human duties.
- When he or she has urges to engage in perverted sexual behaviours such as sado-masochism, bestiality etc.
- When intercourse is not happening, or is painful, in spite of mutual willingness, cooperation and participation.
- When a woman is unable to achieve orgasm during sexual encounters with a loving partner in spite of mutual cooperation and active participation.
- For a proper sex education session before one's marriage where all the facts and myths related to intercourse are addressed.
- When a person is confused about his or her sexual orientation and preferences.
- When a person is struggling with feelings of guilt and shame regarding sex, and is unable to enjoy the experience.
- When a person has had unprotected sex with an uncommitted partner, and could be pregnant or could have contracted a sexually transmitted disease.

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