online breakup drama and its effect


Lord of Penmai
Jul 5, 2011
online breakup drama

A growing number of people are increasingly succumbing to the need of making break-up announcements on online platforms, the latest being actor Simbu.

Demi Moore did it in September 2011 when she posted a picture of herself with eyes closed and a cryptic message that read: 'I see through you'. It didn't take long for people to guess that the 'you' was none other than husband Ashton Kutcher. While Demi chose a subtle 'you' to hint at Ashton, back home, actor Simbu didn't make any bones of the fact that he broke up with Hansika. After unabashedly declaring his love for the actress on Twitter, the actor took to the same medium to openly announce their split!

One of the biggest demands of the social media today is updating the world on what's going on in your life. And announcing a breakup seems to be the latest addition in the long list of online announcements. And users are definitely not shying away from baring it all.

Pawan and Ritika were much in love before things went wrong between them. While only a few close friends were privy to inside information, an impulsive Ritika took to a social networking site to vent her emotions. "While Pawan is more practical, Ritika has always been impulsive and vulnerable. She found it difficult to deal with the breakup. One day, I read a status on her social networking page which read something like 'Your memories will always stay with me. Don't walk away,' etc. What's more shocking was that she tagged Pawan in the post! We tried calling and putting some sense into her," says Ritika's close friend, on conditions of anonymity.

It's the sea-change in the way the world communicates today. Clinical psychologist Dr Alim Chandani does not blame breakup victims for such extreme steps. "Today, we do not communicate the way we used to, say, a few years ago. Technology and social media has taken over our lives. Now, a social platform is used to unburden oneself by posting details about one's personal life. Breakups are understandably a difficult phase, and more often than not, we advice people going through a rough patch, to speak to close ones. However, announcing or talking about a breakup online is taking it to a different level altogether. But I think that's the communication pattern today. And since social media is easily available, in an act of impulsiveness, there is that much more need to talk about what's on your mind online," explains Dr Chandani.

The business of online breakup sagas
Thirty-year-old advertising professional Poojitha faced the "embarrassment" of her friend's breakup announcement online, something, she says, she wasn't prepared for. "A close friend was dating this guy and suddenly one day, I saw his post that said he was finally over with the relationship and that he was a happy man now. I found it very distasteful. Imagine how the girl (my friend) would have felt after reading that post? Not everything can be shared on social media," she says.

But washing dirty linen in public has become a norm of sorts, with even the most high-profile succumbing to it. The Shashi Tharoor-Sunanda Pushkar-Mehr Tarar saga played out publicly on twitter and ended in tragedy with Sunanda's death. With a growing number of people being emotionally dependent on social media, can it prove to be the crying shoulder one is looking for? "I hope not," says psychiatrist Dr Savita Date Menon. "I hope people don't increasingly use social media to announce their breakups. However, I wouldn't be able to say that it does not exist at all, for I have heard about such instances myself. In my opinion, handling any kind of conflict by washing dirty linen on a public platform is uncalled for, more so withrelationships," explains Dr Menon.

Explaining that the emotionally vulnerable seek one upmanship by using public platforms for such announcements, Dr Menon says, "A person who makes public statements like 'hey, I broke up with her' or 'I dumped her', tend to have problems in future relationships, because he/she hasn't learned to respect what two people share."

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