please help me

Aug 28, 2013
My name is irfana.....i have big complex problem....

Let me start explaining...,itd a very big list

First to start with eventhought i am quiet good in english but thats only in writing...but when it comes to speaking i stammer a lot like as if i am an makes me feel lower in front of others....

Secondly i like sketching and painting...and few craft problem is imperfection..i am a very impatience type so try to finish the work fast so it makes the end product clumsy..and add to that my inferiority is one of the problem...

I posted some of my sketch and paintings to my friend and sometimes in online blog...when i dont get responses it maked evenmore worried...eventhough i know my capacities i crave for appreciation..i try to suppress my expectation but i am a mere human being so i crave for appteciation and when i dont get an appreciation i am distressed for whole day and even night become sleepless night for me

So whatever i do is very ugly....these all makes me like a loser...i feel like i am good for nothing...and day to day these feelings makes me stressed out and makes me think why should a useless fellow like me be a burden for this earth...i sometime feel like dying

Not one of my nights passed out without me crying...i am very depressed...please help me out...


Guru's of Penmai
Registered User
Oct 22, 2012
Hi Irfana, welcome to penmai...
You seem to have self analysed very well and know your shortcomings... That makes it simple... Al you have to do is address it ... Find solutions...
Irfana, we all have our ups and downs but we all still live because of our love for our family and their love , trust and hope for us...
You seem to be well endowed in that you are good in written English , arts and crafts... Well not all of us nimble fingers like you do.. That is a gift ... A gift bestowed upon you and as valuable as your life...
You need to chill out and take life easily...
There are so many great people in the world who stammer but that has not stopped them from achieving what they have set out to do... Solution is seeking help from a speech and language therapist ... They will be able to help you if at al there is an actual issue...

Second - there is a saying in Tamil kadamai yai sei palanai edhirparkaadhe... I.e do you duty .. Irrespective of results... So if your arts and crafts is what is important then pursue it but keep a open unattached mind... Even Better u can teach it to the less unfortunate who cannot afford those costly classes and in their joy get some contentment...

Last but not least no harm in seeking a psychiatrist's help...

atleast u will have a non opinionated person to pour your feeling... May be all you need is a that...

Cheer up ... Think of all those people who are in a far worse situation and definitely count and thank your blessings


Super Moderator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Dec 2, 2011
Welcome to Penmai....Irfana.

Please do not worry.....

The" Problems" which you mentioned that you have , are not at all "big problems".

These are very very common with most of the people.

No one in this world is Perfect. Everyone will be perfect in some and imperfect in many.

Just for these things, you should not loose hope and feel to die.

There are lots and lots of challenges to face in everyone's life.

Now, coming to your problems,

Regarding your English Speaking:

What you can do is,

Read the newspaper everyday. Keep one dictionary next to you, while reading. Everyone of us , will have many doubts, while reading it. So, then and there, note down the words which you do not understand, in a notebook (exclusively for this). Then see the meaning for it , in the dictionary, and write it down.

After reading the news paper, go through the hard words, from the notebook once. Later, after 3 hours, go through them again. By doing this, the words and their meanings will get memorized in your mind.

Now, when you read the newspaper , the next day or the days to come, those words will again appear, and you will be able to understand the sentence, much better, than you understood on the first day. this will continue and you will learn lots of words day by day.

You will also learn to make the proper sentences.

Then, listen to the News channels in english atleast once or twice, in a day.

After this, you can try to talk to yourself in front of the mirror, the news which you read in the morning. You can think yourself as the news reader and talk ,without reading from the news paper.

Again, you can talk about anything, like cat, dog or anything, or anything which happened in your house, in front of the mirror.

By doing these, you can certainly improve your English speaking.

You can tell to your close friends (and if your parents know english), that, you are going to talk only in english with them, just to improve your way of speaking. Also tell them, to correct, whenever you go wrong.

Whenever you hear a new word of english, tell to yourself , twice or thrice, so that it will get fixed into your subconscious mind.

Now, coming to your next problem,

If you would like to do any craft work or drawing, first do it in a small pattern. By doing this daily, you can improve yourself.You need not do it in a big , till you get well versed.

This PENMAI site is a very good platform to display all your talents.

All of us are here to appreciate your talents.

Please do attach all the pictures of your works in PENMAI.

And one more thing,
please don't think that, everybody should have some or other talent. Otherwise, they are living as a burden in this earth and all. Only few people have extraordinary talents. All the others will surely have some or other talents, which will be recognized one day or the other. You yourself might not know, what is your inner talent.


All the best in your life.


Minister's of Penmai
Penman of Penmai
Jul 20, 2011
Hi Irfana,

To begin with, your english is very good, we all can see from the way you have written above.
Next I feel as if i am seeing myself in the mirror. I was like you.
Very shy, with lot of inferioriry complex.

From your message I understand, you write well, you paint very well.
Go for it. write more, read more. close your room door talk aloud in front of the mirror. read newspapers, blogs and good topics online or thru books. motivate yourself with reading.

Share your paintings and crafts here in penami. Do not bother about appreciation or comments. The importance of doing something like painting or craft is liberating yourself and your talent. Firstly you should paint for youself to enjoy, like you should sing to please yourself.

Then comes the case of exhibiting it. Being able to showcase your talent in front of people or in a forum like this itself is a big thing. Dont worry if you dont get comments.. let it go. Feel happy...

for example penmai has 75000 members.
Lets say atleast 1 % of the members would have seen your paintings that is 750 people. Would you even dream that so many number of people would see your painting anyday... no nah??? But you have made so many people see your work of art, isnt that itself an appreciation.

Two three times you might not get any response but fourth time you will be bombaarded with comments and appreciation you would not know how to handle or thank the members.

I understand what you are saying. Yes craving will be there to recieve likes and comments. Its natural but that should not put you down.

No one is useless or burden in this world. Make yourself worthy, help whoever is in need. There is always a soul out there who will need you and your help. Just a kind word, just reading a book or giving a helping hand would bring joy to their lives.

More so join forums like this in your freetime, spend time here. read a lot learn a lot share a lot. This is an online family. Many of us have not seen anyone here but we share a bond. All of us do feel like you at some point, lonely worthless and bogged down. Its within us to gear up and prove our mettle. If need be you can take professional doctors' help.

Cheers, All the best. Hope to see you and your art work here soon.


Guru's of Penmai
Sep 14, 2013
Navi Mumbai
Do not get bogged down by the responses you get on net, not all of them are from the core of their heart.

I get responses only from moderators who are forced to read each thread to keep the sanity of the forum.

it does not let me down at all, for I know what I am capable of and what I can do and I have been there and done that, I have confidence in me and so such petty things do not count at all.

Look for your happiness within rather than trying to seek it from others.

I enjoy being myself and my own space which I have created with panache here.

You know you are the ONE so go and chase it baby

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