problem with my wife

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#1
guys need advice. we married before 5 years and we have a 3 years boy baby. we joined him in a pre-school last year. My wife done BSC computer science. i am working in a company, and my monthly income is 15000. This is not enough for us to live. Our finance position is too tight, she knows it well. When i asked her to go to a job, she is not at all willing to go.


We have fights because of this reason. 1/3rd of my salary goes to rent itself. so hard to maintain my family. How to approach my wife and make her to go to job.
 

Ranjumom

Friends's of Penmai
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#2
Priyan,

Dont argue/fight with her. Ait with her explain your problem. Leave the matter for some days. Ask her what is the problem in going to Job. Clear to her that you support her in each and every activity. Tell her that you will also help her in house hold chores.( not only telling Priyan, keep in your mind and help her). explain her that if she go to job its much easier to maintain and to save for KIds future etc. Be supportive to each other.


Note: please change the gender coulmn. It is showing Female.
 
Joined
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#3
Dear Priyan
It is learnt from your post that you are having a 3 year old kid. Which may be a concern for your better half. These types of bottle necks are faced by almost all young middle class couples who lead their life away from their parents or elders. Dont' mention it as fight. It just something like chating or arguing. Make her understand your position pleasingly. Since, she is an educated young mother she might understand your problems. Cut short the luxuries and try to bundle your needs within the manageable limit. Love your wife and kid. With blessings
 

devibalahrd

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#4
Dear Priyan,

Could you please share with us what it the reason that your wife is saying. Does she have any reason for not going for job. You need to analyse those. She may have concerns on any of the below:-

1. Leaving her child alone at home and could not concentrate on job.
2. She has not worked anywhere. So, she may fear that how the circumstance would be.
3. She may not be confident enough to handle both the areas.

As others recommended, it is in your hand to convince her. Please talk to her. She is your wife. Just find out from her what exactly is her concern. Try to deal with it. Give her solutions on the problem.

I totally agree with you that the salary may not be sufficient to run a normal family. But there are ways that you can explain her and make her to understand.

You may also touch up on working from home. Women are really doing great in those areas.

Please think before you speak and please do not end up the discussion in argument or misunderstanding.

All the very best!!
 

nlakshmi

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#5
Her main concern would be her leaving 3 year old... She would have analysed the causes of 3 yr old staying alone after half day of school, paying for the after school care which is a substantial amount, her complex on having just ug degree thinking yhats not enough for the respectable job outside.. Her fear of not taking care of family well if she chooses to go to the job.. Her world is ur home for 5 years and she felt safe and secure... Breaking the safety net is not thay easy if your wife is totally dependent person..
So sit with her , dont just talk about the salary insufficiency,talk to her about her options for ur kids after school care, how working world is, how u can give confidence in hunting for jobs.. Tell her how important is the 2 nd income to ur fmily run... Talk and dont raise your voice while convincing her... Because mothers mind stop until they find confident that their baby is not alone after school.. So find solutions for that first..and convince her.
 

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