question about 1st night

Sep 18, 2015
friends i am going to get married soon. i worried a lot about 1st night. how to explain this to my husband. i don't want to go for 1st night on 1st day itself. i need time to get mingle with him.

my friends are telling me that men won't accept all thing and it will end in fight.

any helps pleease. i want to convey this to my future husband without hurting him.


Minister's of Penmai
Registered User
Sep 2, 2014
Hi friend @Revthy90
There is nothing wrong in your question.

As long as your (future) husband, understands that you whole heartedly accepted his companionship, there is nothing to worry. Do not give too much thought about this, including others advice. This is just between you two to resolve.

If you are having sweet nothing chats with him, now, then there is no need to worry. If not try to utilise any opportunity to have a friendly chit-chat with him(even if it is just hi-hello type ). This is just to convey that this marriage is happening with your agreement.

What ever it is set your mindset that he is your friend, and spend time in thinking about how to make and feel yourself comfortable, rather than what to talk to him. This will help to ease you up and open your mind at that private moment. Make this a conversation , rather than a message to him. I'm sure he will understand you and your concern(about you needing some time).

Some problems seems bigger in our mind, when they are really not. For now stop worrying about your new life, and enjoy the existing moments with your family and friends.

Hope i have answered your question.

Best wishes for your married life.
Last edited:


Super Moderator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Dec 2, 2011
Hi @Revthy90

Advance congrats for your marriage.

No ma. please do not confuse your mind by listening to all the talks of the people around you.

Every individual will be of different character. so, we cannot come to a conclusion that all men will react in the same way.

I believe, you will surely be having daily (or atleast occasional) talks with your fiance. so, by now, you would have known atleast a little bit about his character. Whether he lends an ear to your talks and wishes, or whether he is of a dominating character.

And few more things to add.

If the 1st night is going to be held on the same day of your marriage, probably you both will be very tired towards the night. And he himself will only like to have good talks with you on that day and not continue further.

During that time, you can tell about your wish very softly. He may handle you accordingly.

And another thing to be kept in mind is, till marriage you will surely feel like what you feel about the 1st night.

But once you happen to be very close or intimate (just your presence near him) to him, and by his initial touches, you will surely have a different feeling and will never want to object him to proceed further.

This is what happens to all the girls before and after marriage.

Surely, men will be more eager than the women . But at the same time they will surely give importance to their wife's feelings.

And you should also not try to suppress his eagerness and wishes for a longer time.

All the best for your best married life.

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