Should I allow my 16 year old daughter to visit her mom in jail?

Nov 14, 2014

my will be going to county jail for six months for a money crime. . I am willing to stick by her and not leave her because I feel She made some stupid mistakes but it was out of character so I think she just got herself into a bad situation and make some poor decisions. And I am not defending her or saying she should not serve her punishment. I told my kids she is rightfully serving her punishment which is the right thing for her mistakes. I am wondering what is the best way to prepare for this situation and how to handle it. I have a daughter who is 14 and she seems to be handling it fine. I told her right away about it and she reacted pretty calmly. She later joked about how her mother is "getting ordered around now". I think it is just a joke and I think it is better to be that way instead of being hysterical about it . I was originally not going to let her visit her mom in jail because I would think exposing her to that environment is not a good idea but I am actually hearing that it is a good idea to let her visit but why? isn't it a bad idea to let a 16 year old be exposed to a jail. She could easily be intimidated by the guards and inmates and just the area. My wife says bring her if she wants to visit but don't if she doesn't. She says she doesn't have a problem visiting but I am not sure. Also I want to make sure it doesn't feel like the whole family is in jail
also, should I tell my wife to keep quiet in jail? I would hope she doesn't talk to anyone there.


Super Moderator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Dec 2, 2011
Welcome to Penmai...friend.

Sad to hear the pathetic situation of your wife and that of your family.

OK....leave it and let her(and also the whole family) learn a lesson, as how you should not proceed with the similar happenings in the future.

Now, coming to your query, as your wife says, you can enquire your daughter herself, whether she would like to meet her mom.

You can tell her, that it is only her wish , whether to meet her or not, in the jail.

You can explain the jail surroundings before hand, if she is willing to meet her mom in the jail. This explanation would help her not to get frightened when she visits there.

Or else, you can tell her that, only 6 months are left, and after that she could meet her mom with new attitudes once she is out of jail.

The final decision should be your daughters' only.

Along with this, if she is willing to go there, take her once. Then find out her further reactions at home. Note carefully, whether she seems to be disturbed or she is frightened or any other new different reactions.

If you find any of these, then, do not repeat her visit to the jail.

Coming to your wife, may suggest her not to talk much or reveal anything with the inmates there.

You may tell her , sometimes talking too much with the inmates, might bring new complications. so, let her be calm.

Ask her to read some books which may be useful for her to kill the time.

You may visit her regularly to give her the moral support.

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