sister in law stealing things

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#1
my husband has 2 brother and one sister. some of the things from our home was missed continously, when i observed keenly i had noted that whenever my sil comes to home that things were missing. last week she came to our home and i had noted it visibly. but i dont know how to ask her.. whether she will create problems if i ask or i don't know how to handle it .......... pls help me friends... how to avoid this may i telll this to my husband or mil about her.
 

jv_66

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#2
Welcome to Penmai....Kamala

Feel very sad to hear that your SIL is stealing your valuables.

Are you a newly married girl?

If yes, You should handle the situation very carefully.

Any way, you cannot ask her about her stealthiness.

If you are newly married, you cannot tell about her to your husband immediately.

If you are married for 1 year or more, you can tell this to your husband, when he is in good mood.

You should tell him in such a manner, that he is not bouncing on you and think that, you are unnecessarily complaining about his sister.

You can start the matter, while you both are having coffee together in a relaxed mood. It should not be in the morning time. Then he will be upset throughout the day.

The immediate action, you got to do is, when you happen to know the visit of your SIL, just hide all the valuable things in a safe place and try to be with her all the time you are awake.

She might do this without knowing also. This is called KLEPTOMANIA. Those persons will steal things, may be petty things also, due to some kind of urge.They will not even believe that they are stealing.

Or, she might be greedy also (this may be a rare case). We cannot come to a final conclusion.

Hereafter, you should follow only this method to save your valuables.

Even after telling your husband, if she is suffering from Kleptomania, nothing could be done, immediately. She could be taken to a Psychiatrist and can be cured through some treatments. These are prolonged process.

Please do not open this to your MIL or BILs. Tell this only to your husband.

 

jeyraja

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#3
If possible take photo or video for your safe side.
this may make your husband beleive you..

when you visit her house, see whether the stolen thing is kept there, and if your husband also can identify that thing, you could win to prove what's happening..

"KEEP SAFE YOUR THINGS"
 

jv_66

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#4
And one more thing I forgot to tell you.

Few girls may behave like this.

Sometimes, the girl may think your home as her own home and take the things, whichever she likes to own.

She might think her brother's house as her house and she may not feel any difference between you people.

You can come to a conclusion about this, if she is taking very simple things like any books , pens , utensils, kerchiefs etc.

But at the same time, when she is taking any jewels or dresses without asking, her intention is different.

She may think that she need not ask any permission to take these things. You could notice her face, while taking these things. If she is very casual, she has no intention of stealing things.

At the same time, if she is looking here and there to confirm, other's absence, then we can be sure, that she is stealing those things.

You can do one more thing.

When she is taking these things, while you are near her also, then you can decide that, she is takings things , feeling as if she is at her home.

That time, you can tell her, "if you need anything, you can take it, but please don't forget to tell me, because I would be searching for those things later".


 

sumitra

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#5
my husband has 2 brother and one sister. some of the things from our home was missed continously, when i observed keenly i had noted that whenever my sil comes to home that things were missing. last week she came to our home and i had noted it visibly. but i dont know how to ask her.. whether she will create problems if i ask or i don't know how to handle it .......... pls help me friends... how to avoid this may i telll this to my husband or mil about her.
Hi Kamalakish, welcome to penmai.com!
 

sumitra

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#6
Hi Kamalakish, by this time you would have noticed the kind of things your sil is stealing. You have to follow varumun kappom policy. just keep the things( under lock and key) your sil is interested to steal . This is the only way to safeguard your things from these greedy sils. Or if you are wealthy enough you just offer all these things voluntarily so that she won't steal these things. But you must be too generous to offer everything in this case. Try to solve amicably and peacefully. All the best thank you!
 
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#7
Dont tell anybody if you want a smooth relationship!! Your Mil might even say she gave it to save her Daughter. Keep yourthings locked and dont care about your ILs things. Thats all you can do!!
 

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