Today was a shocker!!

Joined
Oct 7, 2012
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Saidapet
#1
Hi friends, I really appreciate the support i got from you on my previous thread. Things did start to work well when i asked my mom in law and sis in law to help me with housework. they helped me with cooking and laundry and grocery shopping today. But the shock came when my wife called from her office asking me why i made them work!!
I need to convince my wife that i can't manage everything - housework, our daughter and her mom and sis together. But i do not want to put her under any pressure along with her office work. It is really sad that my mom in law and sis in law called her to tell her that. For those of you who read this for the first time I have been taking care of the house and our daughter since we moved here one year back as my wife got a great paying job.
Hoping for a good response on this too. cheers!
 

yams

Commander's of Penmai
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Jul 4, 2011
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#3
i appreciate your love for your wife and thinking about her not to be under any pressure because of you but as equal life partners she even has responsibility to think about your peacefulness so if in case she is not understandable better be little rude and tell all your problems that you are facing because of your in-laws your pressure due to that
hiring a servant would be a better solution provided your wife agrees for this solution if she understands the situation and that their visits are unavoidable...
 
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Preethi4u

Friends's of Penmai
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Jun 18, 2012
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Sunshine state
#4
I fully agree with Umaravi & yamini.
Being a male managing house chores and kid is really tough i know, bcoz we girls are brought up that way, where we can manage everything without any help. be it working women or home maker.

Now a days, no joint families,just nuclear families everywhere. we all need relatives and friends who can help us in our ups and downs. getting away from them is very easy,just matter of minutes but getting them back with that same love is very tough.
talk to your wife,make her understands the things. tell her you respect,love your MIL& Sil but you are finding it lil difficult to manage the house chores when they visit. at least if they could help you in any, it would be great help to you. whether its cooking or cleaning or taking care of your angel. It's all in your wife's hand only. if she conveys it correct then trust me your MIL & SIL visit will be very pleasant one for you and the lil angel. Tell me which kid doesn't like grand ma??

As Uma said, keeping an servant also an good idea where cooking,cleaning will be taken care by them. you have to manage only your angel and shopping.

All the best thesahil.:)
 
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nlakshmi

Minister's of Penmai
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May 21, 2011
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US
#6
First of all, Kudos to you for managing household work and your kid without male ego.
and lets be practical...
You are not working. the whole scenario changes. if the women is not working and she takes care of her child then its no problem at all, as its been told and we have a mindset that it does not matter at all unless if there is a family financial emergency.
But if a man of the house is not working and stay at the house doing all the household chores and taking care of the house then, sorry to say the society will not respect you.
It does not matter if your wife earns good or average. A man has to work if he wants respect in this society. That being said, coming to your MIL and SIL issue, They are losing respect and taking you for granted as their daughter/sister is the earning member of the family. If they would have appreciated your work,respected you for what you do, they would have helped you without being told and your wife would not have heard about you giving them work. They do some chores when you say and tell them to your wife as it is or exaggerated. this is called family politics. Since she is the earning member she questions you. And your inlaws will not say anything to you directly as they dont want to cause anyproblems directly to their daughter/sissy life but indirectly showing the power that they have over your life. Either you get a job, it doesnot have to be well paid job as hers, but a decent job. If you are worried about your kid, you can ask your wife's mom to take of their grand kid while you are at work and also if they are complaining about the household chores and taking care of kid then get a servant maid and also cook since you guys have no financial stress.

There is nothing to get shocked. This is life. You want respect, Get a job. We understand that you love your wife.. But if you want to raise a healthy family, you should take in charge of your life. Its healthy for your marital life and for your kid's life. If you let the in laws or any intruders to take your life for Granted then its will be long gone before you realise that your respect is long gone.

Nowadays all the working couple with kids get well paid jobs and they try to overcome the situation with all possibilities. There is pressure in your wife job and so in your house job too,not to forget managing a kid and family politics. So take incharge of your life.

Hope it helps...
 

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