torturing mother in law

Jun 7, 2014
thought to get out of my marriage life becas of my mil.. she is too much sensitive in all my activities. whatever i do she is finding fault on me and just saying bla blaa.. too stupidious. complaining abt me with other relations and friends..

whn i complained my husband he is saying, you should adjust with her no other way.

what to do now.. do i need to adjust and live with her or i need to get separated.


Super Moderator
Staff member
Super Moderator
Dec 2, 2011
Welcome to Penmai, friend. do not take any hasty decisions, like getting divorced for reasons like these.

For your information, almost all the MILs are like this only.

Only very few MILs are very understanding and treat their DILs as their own daughter and pour their affection on her.

Many of them are very possessive about their son and will not be able to accept the new member who becomes so intimate to her son .

She may not be able to digest that her son would listen to the words of someone else other than her.

Some other MILs may feel to behave in the same way, in which her MIL behaved with her. Her MIL would have tortured her through words or through activities. Now, inturn these MIL may apply the same methods to their DIL. They may think, that her DIL should also suffer in the same way and they might get satisfied through implementing their MILs methods to her.

So,please always remember that only ADJUSTMENT in the family life with each and every member will make a HARMONIOUS FAMILY.

Patience and Adjustments are very much necessary in married life.

What your husband is telling is cent percent correct.

For few hours you can think that, what will you do , if the same words are told by your own mother. Just for these words and not giving respect to you, will you go away from your mother or father?

In the same way, if your office boss is speaking in this way or poking his nose in every office activities, will you not adjust with them and continue to work?

You may think that you can leave that job and find another one. But if the same continues with the other office too, what will happen?

If any of your neighbour is behaving like this, what will you do?

So, what you can do is, just keep quiet and never back answer her. If you don't like her to interfere in any of your personal matters like the intimacy with your husband or anything like that, just keep quiet for some time and then you can tell her softly, that you feel very embarrassed with her such talks.

For all the other interfering activities, though you may feel them as stupid, you ought to adjust and keep quiet. Back answer will never help.

These are very simple reasons and for these you should take such hasty decisions.

When you have a very good husband and very good relationship with him, then there is no valid reason to get separated from him just because of the simple interference talks and activities of your MIL.

Only if there is any violence from your husband, or any irrecoverable extra marital affairs by him, then you can separate from him.

Or if there is any violence from your inlaws, then you can live separately with your husband in a distant place from them.

Separating from your husband,Just because of the interfering activities of your MIL, doesn't sound good and it is not at all good for running a smooth family.

For more guidance, you may click the below links and have few more suggestions as how to tackle the situations.

How to run Smooth family

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