Why do these husbands cheat

srmcanada

Friends's of Penmai
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#1
I am a silent reader here. I have already posted a thread on my situation. I always think problem go off when time fly's. But I don't know why my problem is not at all going. I am dumped.

My husband had an ex lover and he told this before my marriage. I didn't take it serious as he said she is married and has a kid. Also she is his relative. I have seen her too.

We are married for 6 years and we have a 4 yr old kid. 2 years after our marriage he said he s still talking to that lady and she has some family problems etc. She also spoke to me and said they are just friends and nothing more than that.

I also said I am not worried if you guys are friends else I have to react badly. I thought it may be an emotional support. Later once I saw some of their chat messages which were not good.

So I asked her and my husband . She said sorry and will not do that again. My husband said they were just talks and nothing more than that. Later one more time my husband thought I was sleeping and was talking to her saying 'I love u' and all and they were happily talking. I blasted out and shouted and he just cut the call and went off.

Then he said he left everything and he wants to live with me and gave all promises. 3 weeks back I went in for a doctor appointment and when I came back he was shouting over the phone. When I entered he just cut the call. I just asked can I stay here or I will leave if it will be a disturbance for u. He said no and all nonsense's.

Again 2 weeks back he told me to login into his skype acc and check something as his skype acc was not working. By then I saw her name in the account and when I went in I saw all their messages and stuffs. All love and bad messages. I feel like killing both of them. I have told kindly and fought with both of them to leave this and live properly.

But they are not listening to me. I complained to his mother and she tried to do something but it didnt work. Now she is scared even to talk to me. I have been trying for the past 4 years to solve this but its never happening.

Why do these people cheat and live like this. I am so tired and vexed of these things. First I didnt prefer getting separated or anything else. Now I think that is what will solve and relieve me rather than fighting with these creatures. Please advice.
 
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anitha.sankar

Commander's of Penmai
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#2
hi friend,
i can understand ur situation....At first u shouldnt allowed them to have friendship...As they already loved each other...they cant share pure friendship...as they got ur permission...they misused...that is past...u cant alter...so, leave it...

try to talk with ur husband in a peaceful manner... tell him that u love him and u both have baby....what is good for ur baby's happiness...and ofcourse both of ur happy life...

struggle for ur life...dont leave it...first try it in peaceful way...I hope u will get ur life back..All the best friend....

Anitha.Sankar
 
Joined
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#3
hi dear cheating really will really pains your heart. Don't worry and think wisely and act wisely..

now you have only two choice,
1. to live with your husband - you have to clarify him, that chatting with ex lover and living with present life, spoils your life. Strongly tell that you won't live with him if he keeps on talking. with ex lover. Pls Be careful in financial matters, have something separately for you and your baby's future security

2. or to get separated - But think twice before get in to this. since you are young and its too hard to live in this society as separated.

If possible try to talk with the ex-lovers parents, since they are your relation it will work out good. Don't lose hope..
 

srmcanada

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#4
Hi thanku for ur replies. I know the difficulty in staying alone as my dad expired when I was 12 and my mom suffered a lot. I dont want to do that too. I told him so many times I dont like it. Please leave away. But these are so much that they r not stopping it. As u say I need to take some elders from his family and her family and talk and solve. But the issue is will life go good after I talk to their elders. Will he digest it?
 
Joined
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#5
its hard for a men to digest, but to save your life there is no other way.. since you had handled them very softly for the last 2 years, but they are repeating the same .

Much possibilities are there for the exlover to behave properly if her parents talks to her.
 

srmcanada

Friends's of Penmai
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#6
I am planning to do that. I have to go there to do that.
Above all he suspects me a lot. if a wrong call comes means also he says its my boy friend and the person didn't talk as he picked up the call. I should not talk to any of my girl friends even when he is at home. I should not talk to anyone, use my computer etc. Hmmm.
 

rubesh

Citizen's of Penmai
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Jan 19, 2012
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Chennai
#7
suspect is bad evil..Some husband not some husband most of the husband not interested her wifes speak with other males..But Mr husband speak with other women..It is not good..
dont hesitate to talk with your friends...Its your right to share your good and bad feeling with your girl friends..Be positive always.. Pl dont fear for anything.. God must be always with you...Get support from your fatherand motherinlaw.. concentrate to your kid.. By economicaly be sound.. Plan for your future..Try to show affection on your husband.. One day your husband realise your love and affection..
All
The best.
 

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