Why this partiality?

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Mar 2, 2015
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#1
Hi all
Please guide me what should I do with my uncaring mil? I am a working mom. My son is a preschooler. Studying LKG. My mil was taking care of my son during my office time. But she always talking that she is a doing a big thing for us. I was just ignoring her words. But now she is creating problem.
She is not taking care of my son. She is going to her daughter’s home and staying there for the whole day. She is returning back to our house in late evening. When I am asking for reason, she is saying that her daughter is very weak and she is going there for taking care of her kids.
But my sil is not having any health issues. She is simply reasoning this. She want me to request her for taking care of my son. For the last two months, my father pick up my son from school and he is in my moms home. Me or my hubby bring him to our house when we are returning from office. My mom’s place little far away from our workplace and as well as home. It is really hard to manage all the things.

It is all because of our my selfish mil. What to do with her? She is not helping in any work and also not willing to take care of my son. But she loves her daughters kids. My son also a grandson for her know. But why he is not important to him?
 

jv_66

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#2
Welcome to Penmai....Malathy.

Sad to note the behaviour of your MIL.

Yes, many MILs do care only about their daughter and her children and would like to shower their whole love and affection only to them than their son's children.

They would be very happy to take care of their daughter's children and her daughter but feel it as a very big burden when it comes to their son's children.

This is not new.

But there are exceptions too.

Now, coming to your problems,

1. As you have mentioned,When she wants you to request to take care of your son and if she is ready to do it on your request, then what is there in requesting? You may just ask her softly, whether she could take care of your son. If she is pleased by your request, then it is profitable for you.

You may also ask her, whether it would be easy for her, if a nanny is appointed in your home who will take care of your son and your MIL may monitor her. May be she could find it difficult to run after your son who will be naughty at this age. May be her daughter's children would be elders.

If she is still not willing to take care, then there are few more options.

2. If it is possible, You may shift your house nearer to your Parent's house. Your MIL can also stay with you and visit her daughter's house daily, if it is her wish. If she is complaining about her travel , then your husband has to tell (note this.....you should never talk these decisions to her and only your husband has to talk) that the child has to travel daily for such a long distance and in future, this may affect his studying time.

3. If this is not possible, then you may arrange one Creche to take care of your son after the School hours. You may ask the school bus to drop him at the Creche. After your office hours, you may pick him up from there.

4. Another option would be, your Father can bring back your son from his house, to your Office, at the Closure time of your office hours. So that, you or your husband need not travel to your father's house.

Try any of these which may be suitable to you.

There is no point in repeatedly requesting your MIL against her wish.

All the best.
 

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