You know you're not in love when..


Lord of Penmai
Jul 5, 2011
You know you're not in love when..

We all have heard and read about the various signs that indicate whether or not your partner loves you. But how about figuring out you own feelings?

Often you may date a person or even be in a relationship without realising that you have grown out of it. Sometimes you don't want to be the one to break up, or you may just be wary of rocking the boat. But how committed are you? Are you still looking out for your Mr Right, while your partner is just your 'back up'? Here's what you should look for before committing to a relationship...

You prefer to sms rather than call or meet your partner
If you are interested in your partner you will take out the time needed to meet your boyfriend/girlfriend no matter how busy you are. If you keep finding a random file more important than your partner then you should figure out if you really want to be in a relationship.

He/she is your 'back up'
It works in movies, but not in real life. You really can't be into a person if he/she isn't your 'number one' priority. If you were to find you Mr Right or Miss Perfect there's no way you will pick the person you are dating over him/her. You should remember that no one like to be the second fiddle.

Break a date
If you can't make it for a date because your neighbour's cat has got cold or because you have to clean your room, then you need to sort out your thoughts. You can't cancel your date because your heart isn't into it. That's really unfair to the other person. When you break a date to be with your friends or family, it only means that you are in their relationship probably because you don't want to be single. The moment you find something or someone more interesting you are going to dump the other person.

You are okay with getting 'naughty'
If you are okay with flirting with others beyond a certain boundary behind your partner's back then you really need to rethink. Why not be single rather than cheat on someone?

Your friends don't know your girlfriend/boyfriend
We live in an age where friends are our family, so it's only natural that you want their approval when you start seeing someone. However, if you find yourself looking for excuses to avoid introducing your beau to your buddies it only means that you aren't sure about him/her yourself. We are not saying that you need to introduce your guy/girl to your friends immediately, but if you are reluctant to do so even after six months then you are definitely not sure about your feelings.

You are always ready to fight
If you exaggerate a situation and pick up a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend over it, it means you want out of the relationship but don't have the guts to say so. Anything from the way he folds clothes to the way she arranges flowers can irritate you. You are hoping that your partner asks you to break up the relationship.

You cringe at the thought of getting intimate
We aren't saying that you should be okay with public display of affection, but if you don't even want to hold hands in public or reprimand him/her for trying to do so, it means that your affection for him/her is rather limited.

You are overtly critical of him/her
Everything your partner does embarrasses you. 'Stop laughing so loudly' or 'You look ridiculous in that shirt' - if these are the kind of statements you find yourself using too often then you don't really want to be with him/her. This seems to be your ploy to get him/her to argue with you. However, you should realise that a few mean words can hurt someone's self confidence. Try and figure out your feelings for your partner and tell him/her the truth instead of running him/her down.

You are not possessive at all
We aren't saying that you need to be insecure, but most people in love would want others to know that their partner belongs to them. However, if you can't wait to get rid of your partner the moment you step into a party you need to think whether you really love that person.

You never use the word 'We'
After two years, if you still talk about both of you in terms of 'you' and 'me', it means that you don't see yourself as a couple. Make sure you know what's on your mind before going down on a bended knee.

You are emotionally detached
Whether it's his/her promotion or new job, you merely smile and then talk about yourself. If you are more worried about you friend's cold and cough than him/her then you really have something to worry about.

That you are thinking about this
If you have to analyse your feeling again and again, it definitely means that cupid hasn't stuck as yet. Instead of being in a relationship because it's convenient make sure that you are in one because you really care about the other person.

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